Transcript
WEBVTT
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Obviously, talking about when you die is not a fun topic.
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No one really wants to talk about that.
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I would even say some people are superstitious that if I talk about it then it's going to happen.
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But to see what happens when proper planning and organization is not completed or done prior to someone passing is just a complete headache.
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And I can even say that from speaking from firsthand experience that back in 2011, when my grandfather passed away my mom's father unfortunately a lot of his things weren't in order.
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Now, thankfully, in this scenario he had enough money, so money was not an issue.
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In regards to taking care of my grandmother, put in to find out where all his accounts were, find out where investments are, find out what life insurance like all that stuff took her a while, and she's doing all that on top of losing her father, so she's dealing with the grief of that while trying to organize his affairs so that she can help take care of my grandmother who at that point in time, was showing I was already in the early stages of Alzheimer's.
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Welcome to the Sugar Daddy podcast.
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I'm Jessica.
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And I'm Brandon.
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And we're the Norwoods, a married millennial couple here to help you build wealth so you can live the life you've always dreamed of.
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Brandon is an award-winning licensed financial planner with over 10 years of experience and millions of dollars managed for his clients all over the US.
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Don't worry, we leave all the intimidating finance mumbo jumbo at the door Stick with us as we demystify the realm of dollars.
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So it all makes sense.
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While giving you a glimpse into our relationship with money and each other, we are so glad you're here.
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Let's get started.
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Hey babe, what are we talking about today?
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Today we are talking about what happens when you die.
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Can you be a little bit more specific, can you be a little bit more?
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specific.
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So it's something that we've been talking a lot about with our friends and family, and it's really all about preparation, right?
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Nobody wants to think about not being here, but the reality is we don't live forever and tomorrow is not guaranteed, and tragedies happen to good people all the time, and so one of the things that we did a while back is we created a when I die guide, and the premise behind it is really to help you get organized on all of the things in your life that somebody might need to know should you pass away, especially if you pass away unexpectedly and unfortunately.
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We have had enough people in our life mostly our friends who are our age who have lost their parents, their you know grandparents, and they've all told us that it was a complete disaster to settle their estate, to find the right paperwork, to find out.
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You know, why did my grandfather have 11 bank accounts?
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Why did I find thousands of dollars in the back of the pantry in old cereal boxes?
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I mean, the stories that people have shared of getting their families, estate and affairs in order are just sad and heartbreaking and miserable and honestly cost time and money and mental peace and well-being, and, I think, one of the best things you can do for your loved ones is to have a plan and be prepared, and help them be prepared for what they might need when you're no longer here.
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Yeah, I would say yeah.
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I would say that was one of the biggest issues that I've run across.
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You know, in my line of work is that obviously talking about when you die is not a fun topic.
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No one really wants to talk about that.
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I would even say some people are superstitious that if I talk about it then it's going to happen.
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But to see what happens when proper planning and organization is not completed or done prior to someone passing is just a complete headache.
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And I can even say that from speaking from firsthand experience that back in 2011, when my grandfather passed away my mom's father, unfortunately a lot of his things weren't in order.
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Now, thankfully, in this scenario, he had enough money, so money was not an issue in regards to taking care of my grandmother.
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But as far as the legwork that my mom had to put in to find out where all his accounts were, find out where investments are, find out what life insurance like, all that stuff took her a while, and she's doing all that on top of losing her father.
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So she's dealing with the grief of that while trying to organize his affairs so that she can help take care of my grandmother who at that point in time was showing was already in the early stages of Alzheimer's.
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Yeah.
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So the best thing you can do is have this conversation and put the legwork in and do the work while you are of a sound mind and you are healthy.
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Whatever it may be, take care of it now, because it needs to be done, because we all die.
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If we die, it's more of a win.
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So, you need to have these things put in order to make it so much easier for the people that you're leaving behind.
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And I think that's one of the big things that resonated with me, talking through some of these scenarios with our friends who've gone through this, is they didn't feel like they actually had time to grieve and to be in the moment and to sit around and chat about happy memories and to do the things that we probably would want to do after we've lost a loved one.
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Because they're digging through boxes of paperwork, they're trying to find account numbers, they're trying to find statements, they're trying to figure out well, how many credit cards did they have, and who do I need to send these death certificates to?
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And you are just in a state of do, do, do and find, find, find.
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And you don't actually have time to process and grieve properly when people's estates are not in order.
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And so what we did is we put together a 17-page guide that is completely free to you.
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The only thing you have to do is go to our website, wwwthesugardaddypodcastcom.
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A pop-up box will come up.
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It will ask you for your name and your email, so you are subscribing to our webpage and then, once you confirm your email that's an important step Once you confirm your email, you will get an instant download and then you can print this out.
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You can use it as a checklist, you can read through it and it really is a guide, right?
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Everybody's life looks different.
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What we all have looks different.
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Maybe you live in a townhouse and pest control, for example, is taken care of for you.
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Well, we live in a single family home and we are responsible for pest control, for example, is taken care of for you.
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Well, we live in a single family home and we are responsible for pest control.
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Honey, who handles our pest control?
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You asked me this on a previous podcast episode and I still don't know the name, but I would know how to find out.
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How would you find out?
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I would look through our records, as regards to our bank accounts, of where the money's going.
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And how long would that take you Not?
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long at all.
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Okay, I also am indifferent because I do this for a living, so I know what to look for.
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What I'm saying is everything is going to look different, right, because all of our estates, if you will look different and if you're thinking, well, I don't have an estate, I'm not a Biltmore, I'm not a Rockefeller, that's okay.
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We aren't either, and we do still have an estate, right, we still have a home, we have children, we have property.
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We have cars, we have we might be a Rockefeller, and we just don't know, maybe he had-.
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That has not come up in my DNA results yet Maybe he had an affair with one of his slaves.
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Oh my gosh, all right, I'm not going there with you today, okay.
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Back to the subject at hand.
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I'm so mad at you right now.
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So think about all the things that you take care of in your home right now that would need to be settled right.
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Where are your student loans?
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Where is your bank account?
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Where is your Roth IRA?
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Where is your 401k?
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Who are the beneficiaries on your accounts?
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Right, I mean all of these things.
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If you really start to list them out which we have done for you so you don't actually need to go and do it, but if you start to list them out, it's quite a long list.
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Also, you need to think about, for example, if I died tomorrow and Brandon was my survivor, as well as our children little things, right, like who are our children's friends and their playmates, and does Brandon have all of their parents' contact information?
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Probably not.
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Where does Remy, our dog, go to the vet?
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Do you know who his vet is?
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Yes, because I've taken him there before.
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Okay, well, good, but think about all the things that happen day to day that you take care of that maybe your spouse is not aware of, and vice versa.
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What is something that Brandon takes care of that I might not be aware of?
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Or would take me a significant amount of time to look up to research, to dig through accounts, et cetera.
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Because, again, if you don't know, you don't know.
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Right, like, I can't type in pest control into my bank account and it come up because that's not what it has in the title.
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So then you're searching, searching, searching.
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But if you took the time to write all of this out, put it in a Google Doc, put it in a document that you can easily update and then share it with the people who will need it if and when the time comes.
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They will essentially have a folder of information that is relevant to help them settle your estate.
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And I think that is one of the most loving things that you can do for your family and friends and loved ones who are going to be responsible for taking care of what happens after you're gone is to tee things up for them so that they have time to grieve you, to think about the happy memories of your time together instead of searching for documents and papers and account numbers, et cetera, because it's preventable and that is not love, that is not loving.
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And I would also say too, in this day and age of technology, it makes things a little bit easier for people.
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So you know, like I said before, speaking from my own firsthand experience, all my grandfather's documents were all paper and if you know, like literally we were In boxes.
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Like literally, we were pulling out old, like stock certificates.
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I remember those.
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Physical paper stock certificates, that of stock that he had purchased and it was just it was a lot, that of stock that he had purchased and it was just it was a lot.
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But nowadays there's so many, there's so much technology that you can utilize positive way to organize things and share it.
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Yes, so one of the things that I do for my clients that makes, I think, makes their life a lot easier is that I create a Google doc that I share with them that has all the information that we work on together so you know, for example, if they have a life insurance policy.
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You know what is that life insurance, where's that life insurance policy at, you know what company is it with, what is the policy number, what is the amount.
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And I even put on there, even though it might change, I put in there.
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You know the website and also the phone number for the person.
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All right, so you know you'll have their life insurance, you'll have, you know where their investment accounts at and stuff of that nature, and the idea is that they have this running Google doctor.
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We're continuously updating as things change, but it's there for both of them to use for each other in the case of the event of one of them passing, but then also I said to them hey, you know, in the event of both of you passing because I would say most, a lot of the people that I work with do have children.
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So in the event of you passing, you have small children who are going to take care of your kids, because then they need access to the information, because they are going to be the ones that are selling your estate Right?
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So it's really important to you know, have that.
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And I think it's a really easy way to do it.
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So what I want to preface and I think I put this in the guide as well so I do hope that you take the time to download it and use it as a resource and if there's anything that you feel we left out or missed, you know this is a document that we can easily update, so please reach out, let us know.
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I wanted to state that this is not something that you should spend a weekend doing.
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This is a lot of information.
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You know, maybe once a week you make a photocopy of an account or your social security cards or your passports or whatever that might be, and you slowly build, because if you become overwhelmed during this process, you're just going to stop and that's a bad thing.
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But if you do a little bit, you know, each week, each weekend, once a month, and maybe the goal is, hey, by the end of the year I'm going to have a full document of, or a full binder you know I'm thinking about a physical binder or a full Google Doc, of all of these things then it becomes manageable and it doesn't become overwhelming and hopefully you won't stop in the middle of the process.
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But oh, were you going to say something?
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Oh, I was going to say that this is a part of the whole state planning process and financial planning process, because you're going to see, if you, you know, go ahead and you know, download the document and you start looking through it, you may be like, hey, I don't have this, I don't have that, and there's going to be things that you actually need to have first.
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So, for example, if you don't have a will, you're going to have to, you know, meet with a estate planning attorney to have a wills and trust attorney to have one, you know, put together for you.
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So, they're going to be like.
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As you said before, this is not going to be something that you can finish in an hour or two hours.
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It's going to take some time, especially if you have more steps to take, because the certain things that we've listed in there you don't have you know.
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For example, one of the things in there you know is like going through all the accounts that you can name beneficiaries on and making sure the beneficiaries are correct.
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You know certain things like that, so it is going to take a while, but once you have it completed, you, your life will be so much easier.
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But then you also do need to keep in mind that you are going to need to periodically update it.
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Yeah, like once a year, yeah, once a year, you know, update things, or maybe every half, you know, um, because you want to make sure that things are correct.
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You know, for example, our we have had, uh, we moved into this house a little over a year ago and we are on our third mortgage, uh, lender, you know, because your mortgage gets sold several times throughout the life and so, so that's something that you have to update, right, um?
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So let's get into some of the documents that you will likely want to have as part of your record keeping and this guide, if you will, that you're going to create.
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So the first thing is your vital records.
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So vital records are your birth certificates, marriage certificates, divorce certificates, death certificates, any pre-deceased parents, spouse or child certificates, certificates, death certificates, any pre-deceased parents, spouse or child certificates.
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Also, any military documents, driver's license copies, social security cards, passport copies, right, those are all the things that identify who you are, your family members, who's already deceased, et cetera.
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So, vital records section start with that.
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That's pretty easy, right?
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Make a copy of your driver's license, your partner's driver's license, your birth certificates, death certificates, marriage licenses.
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All of that probably lives in a safe or somewhere kind of together in your home anyways, take a day photocopy it all, put it into an electronic file or even to a binder with some plastic sleeves, and section one done.
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Yeah, and those things are important too because, in the event of someone passing, a portion of those documents are going to be, you're going to have to submit them in order to get access to these different accounts that the person may have.
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Yeah, absolutely Real estate documents and deeds.
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So I mean literally exactly what it says Deeds, mortgages, tax information, really important to make sure that that information is also logged.
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And then Because here's a newsflash.
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Newsflash If you die during the year, you still may have to pay taxes.
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Oh my gosh, yes, I've seen so many videos where it's like my mom died and I didn't know I had to file her taxes that is a.
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Thing.
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Yeah, that is a thing.
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Yeah, oh my gosh.
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It's one of the biggest things that is not on most people's radars.
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No.
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And understandably so, because you're dealing, you're grieving, so you're not really thinking about all that.
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Filing my dead person's taxes.
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And here's also why who?
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tells you that you don't get taught that in school.
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No that.
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Who tells you that you don't get taught that in school?
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That's literally not taught anywhere.
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You learn it on TikTok.
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And also this is where it also can be helpful working with a financial advisor.
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It's because you have so much going on in the event of someone passing that if you're working with a good financial advisor leading up to any of that occurring, they're helping you establish all these things and have all these things in order and then when that event happens, you have someone that you can offload that workload to.
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Because I just can't imagine especially when it's a premature death, where someone's not dying of old age, they're not 90, 100 years old.
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It's like someone passes away in an accident suddenly the amount of emotions that you're going to be dealing with.
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I don't see how you can think straight to organize the finances.
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Anyways, I'm a financial advisor and I don't think if Jess passed away I'd have to offload that to a financial advisor friend of mine because I wouldn't be able to concentrate straight and you don't want to make mistakes that could be very costly in time and or actual money because your mind is not in the right place.
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Yeah.
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The next thing you'll want a record of are your financial accounts, checking, savings, investments, retirement accounts.
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You'll want to actually note the account number, the institution, any kind of information you know, maybe somebody's phone number that you typically deal with within that institution, and then any statements also would be good to have, because statements obviously have a lot of information the account information.
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I wouldn't.
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So the thing is for me I don't think you necessarily need the statements personally.
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Okay.
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Reason being is you can put a statement in there and it's going to be old.
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So I don't want people to get confused on maybe the monetary amount in there based off old statements.
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But the biggest thing that a statement would have is the policy number and maybe information to contact them, which you could also just transfer over.
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Like I said when I create the Google Doc, I don't necessarily have a statement in there.
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I do have the financial institution's name, contact information and the account number or a policy number, whatever it may be, because those are going to stay the same as long as it's the same account.
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That account number is not going to change.
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Okay.
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So if you do put statements in, maybe put a little note.
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Hey, this might have changed over time so that people are not expecting one amount over a different amount.
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I think that's a good call out.
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Sorry.
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One more thing.
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The reason I say that is from experience is that what ends up happening when people start putting statements in is that they don't remove old ones, correct.
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So what ends up happening is that maybe you had one account, but then you rolled that account over someplace else.
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You didn't get rid of this old statement.
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So it's an old statement not telling me that it was rolled over, but then I also have the statement for a new account, and so I'm thinking there's two accounts.
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Now there's confusion.
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Okay.
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All right, so maybe just the institution account number policy number.
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Went through it firsthand with my grandfathers.
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Yeah, okay, and then any recent tax documents.
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I think that's good to add as well.
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You want to add insurance policies that you have and, again, account numbers, policy numbers, institution name.
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If there's a specific person that you typically deal with, you can add that person's information and contact information as well.
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Again, the idea behind all of this is to tee it up right.
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You're giving a gift with a bow on top of hey, here are all the things in my life that you should be aware of, and here's how to get more information, should you need it, any kind of information for lawyers, accountants, advisors so the people that you rely on to help keep your estate running, so to speak.
00:21:11.998 --> 00:21:16.366
You'll want to make sure that people are aware that there's a whole team behind you.
00:21:16.366 --> 00:21:22.390
Maybe you have a CPA, maybe you have an attorney who's done your will and your trust and your health directives and things like that.
00:21:22.390 --> 00:21:38.732
Make sure that those people are noted so that, again, the people who are settling your estate know that they can turn to those people right off the bat and maybe, like Brandon said earlier, offload some of what is needed to be done to get your estate in order.
00:21:38.992 --> 00:21:40.457
Yeah, and the Google Docs that I create.
00:21:40.457 --> 00:21:47.836
I always encourage the people and give them the option to be able to share it, as I said before, with other people who would be handling their estate, should they pass away.
00:21:47.836 --> 00:21:50.647
And in there I have my contact information.
00:21:50.647 --> 00:21:57.492
But then also one step that I take further on my end as an advisor is that, since I know other advisors, what if something happens to me?
00:21:57.492 --> 00:22:02.131
So I actually have, hey, if something were to happen to me as your advisor.
00:22:02.131 --> 00:22:06.310
Here are a couple other advisors that I know that I trust and I know do good work.
00:22:06.791 --> 00:22:10.490
Yeah, and just for anybody listening, that is a client of Brandon's.
00:22:10.490 --> 00:22:15.145
Those are also the advisors that I would go to in case something happened to Brandon.
00:22:15.145 --> 00:22:22.767
So these are friends of ours that we trust and we know are reliable and educated in their field.
00:22:23.327 --> 00:22:30.535
And also, too, like you know, I, I it's going to be happening more as I get older, as I get older, and my clients, you know, their kids get older, and stuff like that.
00:22:30.535 --> 00:22:39.977
But if you already have a financial advisor, you know, say your kids are old enough, introduce, make sure you're you introduced, advisor to your kids.
00:22:39.977 --> 00:22:57.048
Or, for example, if your brother-in-law is the one that's gone, your brother's the one that's going to take your kids in the event something happening to you, him, and it's your sister-in-law, then introduce your advisor to them, because nothing's worse than like being introduced to the family member on the one, maybe one of the worst days of their lives.
00:22:57.309 --> 00:22:58.953
Yeah, that's, if that's.
00:22:58.953 --> 00:23:01.988
If you can avoid that, let's do that Absolutely.
00:23:01.988 --> 00:23:07.346
You'll want to put any kind of information in about advanced directives, power of attorneys.
00:23:07.346 --> 00:23:11.115
So these are the pieces of paper that share.
00:23:11.115 --> 00:23:17.311
What do you want done in the event that you can't make a decision for yourself, medically or otherwise?
00:23:17.311 --> 00:23:19.757
These are things that you again might have to establish.
00:23:19.757 --> 00:23:23.037
If you don't currently have them, definitely advise for you to have them.
00:23:23.037 --> 00:23:28.035
These are conversations you should be having with your partner, your spouse, your family.
00:23:28.035 --> 00:23:38.355
If you were in a terrible accident and you are in a medical coma, how long should people keep you on a tube, right?
00:23:38.355 --> 00:23:41.154
How long do you want to be fed through a feeding tube, if at all?
00:23:41.154 --> 00:23:50.096
So these are, again, uncomfortable but very necessary conversations that you should be having with your partner, with your spouse, with your family.
00:23:50.096 --> 00:23:57.736
And then you need to get them in writing, because just talking about it standing around the kitchen table is not actually putting a plan in place.
00:23:58.257 --> 00:24:08.219
And too often you hear if you've watched any kind of medical show, right, if you've watched any episode of Grey's Anatomy, you know what happens when you don't have a health directive in place.
00:24:08.219 --> 00:24:17.276
You know what happens when there isn't paperwork in place that says I designate this person to make a decision, should I not be able to make a decision for myself?
00:24:17.276 --> 00:24:26.979
And in those events, you need to pick the person who you think could be of sound mind in a terrible situation, right?
00:24:26.979 --> 00:24:28.626
Who's going to work under stress?
00:24:28.626 --> 00:24:33.276
Who's going to do, who's going to help carry out your wishes the best?
00:24:33.276 --> 00:24:39.753
Maybe that's not your parent, maybe that's you know, not a family member, maybe it is a friend.
00:24:39.753 --> 00:24:47.534
So you have to think about those things, because these are the people that you're going to be relying on in the event that you cannot make a decision for yourself.
00:24:47.534 --> 00:24:54.030
And you want to make sure that you're picking somebody who is going to stick with your wishes that are outlined on paper, somebody who is going to stick with your wishes that are outlined on paper.
00:24:55.272 --> 00:25:14.371
I can't agree with that more because in scenarios where you have certain relationships let's say, for example, if you are a same-sex couple who is legally not married, but you would like your significant other to be the person who makes this decision you need to have that written down because I don't know.
00:25:14.431 --> 00:25:16.237
You know everybody's family dynamics are different.
00:25:16.237 --> 00:25:28.513
You know, maybe the family is not happy with the person you know that that you're with, or they're not happy for the pure fact of unfortunately, you know, people don't always accept everyone's lifestyle.
00:25:28.513 --> 00:25:43.695
And so you need to have these things in writing because, for example, like I'm just going to use the same sex reference again, but let's just say hypothetically that you have been with your partner for 10 years, you just haven't gotten legally married, and now an accident happens and you're in the hospital.
00:25:43.695 --> 00:25:50.057
Legally, you don't have any leg to stand on to access seeing that person.
00:25:50.057 --> 00:25:57.236
The family can literally keep you from seeing them because you are technically not family, because you're not related to them and you're not married.
00:25:57.236 --> 00:26:04.537
So having these things put in place can be extremely important, you know, depending on what your family dynamics are.
00:26:05.484 --> 00:26:14.935
Absolutely, and if it's not in black and white, then it doesn't exist and it doesn't matter, and that's the reality when it comes to the legal system.
00:26:14.935 --> 00:26:17.430
So make sure that you get these things outlined.
00:26:17.430 --> 00:26:32.767
You'll also want to include information about any debts that you might have, so your credit cards, your personal loans, your car loans make sure that you outline that information as well, because somebody's going to need to pay, right?
00:26:32.767 --> 00:26:41.558
And you want to make sure that people are aware of the accounts that you have and that they can again settle those.
00:26:41.558 --> 00:26:46.594
And then I think one of the longest sections is the home details, right?
00:26:46.594 --> 00:26:51.066
Or are the home details and the family and health information type details?
00:26:51.066 --> 00:26:55.714
And again, this is going to look different for for every household, right?
00:26:55.714 --> 00:27:00.810
Whether your household has children, no children, it's just going to vary.
00:27:00.871 --> 00:27:09.500
But some of the things you know that you might want to think about in this section are you know, where are your spare keys, right?
