The BEST His and Hers Financial Literacy Podcast for Millennials
Dec. 18, 2024

69: How to Manage Finances in the Sandwich Generation

69: How to Manage Finances in the Sandwich Generation

Can you support your kids and aging parents without sacrificing your financial stability? In this episode, we unpack the unique challenges of the sandwich generation and share practical strategies to help you stay balanced.

Key Takeaways:

  • Talking Money with Parents: Learn how to initiate open conversations about their financial plans, from savings and debt to long-term care, so you can avoid unexpected burdens and ensure everyone’s stability.
  • Caregiving Without Overload: Discover tips for managing elder care while maintaining your career, including leveraging employer benefits and budgeting wisely for caregiving options.
  • Planning Ahead with Your Partner: Prepare for scenarios like integrating a parent into your home or navigating medical expenses with tools like life insurance and long-term care policies to secure generational wealth.
  • Raising Financially Savvy Kids: Empower the next generation with financial literacy, teaching them critical skills like smart spending, delayed gratification, and planning for the future with 529 plans and UTMA accounts.

This episode is your guide to balancing family responsibilities and building a strong financial foundation for generations to come. Listen now to take control and thrive!

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP55O4Ku4dukHcK0kExhpcA

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit 

https://www.thesugardaddypodcast.com/guests/intake/ 

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Learn more about Brandon and schedule a free 30-minute introductory call with him here: https://www.oakcityfinancial.us

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Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review.

Chapters

00:00 - Sandwich Generation Financial Planning

07:14 - Financial Planning Conversations With Parents

13:08 - Managing Elder Care Responsibilities Financially

23:42 - Financial Conversations Across Generations

36:00 - Teaching Children Financial Literacy

38:58 - Family Financial Planning Conversations

Transcript
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00:00:00.500 --> 00:00:05.673
So having that conversation as early as possible with your parents and making sure that one they have a plan.

00:00:05.673 --> 00:00:16.873
And by making sure they have a plan I mean thoroughly talking through it and actually seeing and looking at not just when your parents are like, oh, everything's fine, everything's fine, no, no, no, no, no.

00:00:17.393 --> 00:00:20.966
Show me, pull up these accounts, show me what's in these accounts.

00:00:20.966 --> 00:00:24.003
Show me your life insurance, show me your disability insurance.

00:00:24.003 --> 00:00:28.152
Show me what you have in that 401k, that 403b, that IRA.

00:00:28.553 --> 00:00:35.326
Yes, because too many times I know it's hard to have those conversations with your parents because they also still view you as a child sometimes in some aspects.

00:00:35.326 --> 00:00:48.109
But, like Jess said, you have to actually have the numbers behind it.

00:00:48.109 --> 00:00:51.371
Hey, babe, what are we talking about today?

00:00:52.252 --> 00:00:58.676
Well, today is a special episode because Brandon and I are at FinCon 2024.

00:00:58.676 --> 00:01:10.584
We are recording this episode live from the quote unquote FinCon studios.

00:01:10.584 --> 00:01:11.507
Thank you to LLCattorneycom for this setup.

00:01:11.507 --> 00:01:30.575
So we're super excited and pumped, not only for this episode because it's going to be great, but also just because we're here and we're in community with so many of the other content creators that we've been following, people that we've had on the podcast, and so we are hyped up but also exhausted at the same time, because it's already been.

00:01:30.575 --> 00:01:33.971
We're only on day two and we've already learned so much.

00:01:33.971 --> 00:01:42.671
We've had some great keynotes already, great connections with folks, and so we're just really excited to be here and happy to be recording live.

00:01:42.671 --> 00:01:44.165
We wanted this to be an experience.

00:01:44.746 --> 00:01:45.509
Yes, yes, yes.

00:01:46.260 --> 00:01:49.290
So, going back to hey, babe, what are we talking about today?

00:01:49.290 --> 00:01:52.987
Today, we are talking about the sandwich generation.

00:01:54.531 --> 00:01:59.171
Yes, yes, let's go ahead and get the definition so people understand exactly what the sandwich generation is.

00:01:59.441 --> 00:02:00.986
Okay, and this is a noun.

00:02:00.986 --> 00:02:02.021
It is officially a real word.

00:02:02.021 --> 00:02:02.301
It is a noun.

00:02:02.301 --> 00:02:02.661
This is a noun.

00:02:02.661 --> 00:02:04.061
It is officially a real word, it is a noun.

00:02:04.061 --> 00:02:12.408
And the sandwich generation is the millennials and Gen X, who take care of aging parents and their own kids at the same time.

00:02:12.408 --> 00:02:22.336
They're, quote unquote, sandwiched between caring for two generations, so this can be stressful, as they balance caregiving with their own lives and work.

00:02:22.336 --> 00:02:23.616
Sound familiar.

00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:29.568
I would say thankfully we're not necessarily in that situation, but we definitely have extreme.

00:02:29.568 --> 00:02:34.808
We definitely have friends, though, that are 100% in this exact situation.

00:02:35.090 --> 00:02:45.614
Yeah, they're taking care of their school age children and also, you know, fully financially supporting their parents, moving their parents into their homes.

00:02:45.614 --> 00:02:48.669
I mean, that is literally what this episode is all about.

00:02:49.439 --> 00:02:49.882
Yeah, I mean.

00:02:49.882 --> 00:02:55.266
Think about all the parents out there, think about how much you spend on taking care of your children.

00:02:56.169 --> 00:02:56.570
So much.

00:02:56.740 --> 00:03:05.091
Now add the added stress of having to also financially support, maybe completely or partially, your parents for multiple reasons.

00:03:05.091 --> 00:03:09.931
You know it could be due to illness, it could be to, you know, not proper planning on your parents' part.

00:03:09.931 --> 00:03:18.783
But I just am thankful that you know that's not our situation and I can definitely sympathize for those who just feel stuck.

00:03:19.445 --> 00:03:19.725
Yeah.

00:03:20.187 --> 00:03:29.854
Because life itself costs so much money just for you and your own family, not having to deal with taking on the burdens of other people that you probably never thought that you'd have to take care of.

00:03:29.854 --> 00:03:32.344
Because, let's be honest, most people don't think about.

00:03:32.344 --> 00:03:36.734
Hey, once I get to one point in my life, I'm going to have to financially take care of my parents.

00:03:37.240 --> 00:03:47.121
Well, and it's not only the financial aspect that is a huge component, but there's also the hey.

00:03:47.121 --> 00:04:07.860
I need to now take off of work to take my aging parent to the doctor, or you know if, if maybe there's some early onset dementia or alzheimer's and they cannot live alone anymore and now you're moving them into your home, or you're having to purchase a new place to live to actually accommodate an extra person, or or your parents, if it's a two you know two person situation, bringing them into your home.

00:04:07.860 --> 00:04:10.587
So now you're having to accommodate in those larger ways.

00:04:10.627 --> 00:04:27.894
I mean, that's a lot yeah, because you know getting into the aspects of, like, you know the financial pressures and challenges that come with that is one like you want to do proper planning for your own life, your you and your spouse, whoever may be your kids, and focus on that.

00:04:27.894 --> 00:04:40.235
So you know saving enough money for your kids to go to college or, if you're already in college, you know paying for college, saving for retirement, just in general, doing the financial plan that we've talked about that you'd be doing for your own family.

00:04:40.235 --> 00:04:54.084
Now, the hard part is is that, when it comes to the budgeting aspect, you're budgeting for those things, but now you have another line item that you have to budget for, because, same things that you're doing for your own family, now you should take on the expenses of your parents, and it's kind of like what do I do?

00:04:54.084 --> 00:04:56.569
You know in what order should I do this?

00:04:56.569 --> 00:04:57.312
Can I do this?

00:04:57.312 --> 00:05:01.567
Or you know, are there, is there anything out there that can help me do this?

00:05:01.988 --> 00:05:06.579
right and is there I mean the reality is, is that this is a.

00:05:06.579 --> 00:05:19.959
This is a new thing, because I'm not saying that previous generations haven't had to take care of um the older generation, while taking care of some aspects of their current family and their kids.

00:05:19.959 --> 00:05:34.910
But I would say, with the way the economy is, the, the way that you know inflation as far as how much things cost, because I hesitate to use the word inflation because I think partial is inflation, the other part is actually you know corporate greed.

00:05:35.379 --> 00:05:45.185
And then also incomes not keeping up with you know the cost of things and it's just, it's a lot in this day and age as compared to, maybe, if people were doing this 20, 30 years ago.

00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:46.401
A hundred percent.

00:05:46.401 --> 00:05:48.766
I mean, we've talked about on every episode.

00:05:48.766 --> 00:06:01.584
Life is so expensive and so when you're adding extra bodies to take care of in any capacity, it costs money and it can it feel like it can feel like it adds up fast, you know.

00:06:02.065 --> 00:06:07.665
And the first thing I would say is that, like you do need to, well, first you need to have the conversation.

00:06:07.665 --> 00:06:09.329
Let's start, let's take a step back.

00:06:09.329 --> 00:06:13.704
What can you do to possibly help prevent this?

00:06:13.704 --> 00:06:15.668
Okay you want to start there?

00:06:15.668 --> 00:06:24.329
Sure okay, so one of the things that I've always said on this podcast could I have prevented my parents not being ready to retire?

00:06:24.911 --> 00:06:26.012
Is that what we're talking about?

00:06:26.514 --> 00:06:27.194
No, no, no, no.

00:06:27.194 --> 00:06:30.810
What I'm saying is that your parents may not have.

00:06:30.810 --> 00:06:33.028
Let's just stick with and make it easy for the retirement aspect.

00:06:33.028 --> 00:06:40.728
Maybe they haven't done proper planning, but the idea of having the conversation as soon as possible with them to see what their finances are.

00:06:41.300 --> 00:07:04.420
So, for example, if your parents are about five years from retiring and they have not done the proper planning throughout the course of their life in order to properly retire, knowing five years beforehand is not going to completely erase all the other bad decisions that were made or completely fix the problem, but it could help in some aspects as compared to waiting Five years, is better than six months.

00:07:04.355 --> 00:07:05.870
Yeah, exactly, Because it's also also the thing is too, is that obviously some?

00:07:05.805 --> 00:07:10.372
aspects as compared to five years is better than hey, in six months, yeah, yeah, exactly, because it's also also the thing is too is that obviously in those?

00:07:10.372 --> 00:07:13.805
I'm gonna say obviously, because there's a plethora of things that can cause these issues to happen.

00:07:13.805 --> 00:07:16.882
But let's just say, hypothetically, your parents just never had a plan.

00:07:16.882 --> 00:07:18.586
They never had a plan.

00:07:19.367 --> 00:07:23.906
So you were their plan, yeah, so having a conversation, at least laying out a plan.

00:07:23.906 --> 00:07:32.507
And also, the thing is, too, is that have you ever had a problem where you didn't really dissect the problem itself and you thought it was this tremendously huge problem?

00:07:32.507 --> 00:07:40.023
But when you actually stopped and did the work and found out the details of the problem, the problem wasn't quite as big as you thought it was being, it was manageable.

00:07:40.983 --> 00:07:49.810
So having that conversation as early as possible with your parents and making sure that one they have a plan and by making sure they have a plan I mean thoroughly talking through it now.

00:07:49.831 --> 00:07:59.810
I know this might be actually seeing and looking at not just when your parents are like oh, everything's fine, everything's fine, no, no, no, no, no, show me yes pull up these accounts.

00:07:59.810 --> 00:08:01.461
Show me what's in these accounts.

00:08:01.461 --> 00:08:03.125
Show me your life insurance.

00:08:03.125 --> 00:08:04.408
Show me your disability insurance.

00:08:04.408 --> 00:08:05.071
Show me what's in these accounts.

00:08:05.071 --> 00:08:05.632
Show me your life insurance.

00:08:05.632 --> 00:08:06.314
Show me your disability insurance.

00:08:06.314 --> 00:08:08.379
Show me what you have in that 401k, that 403b, that IRA.

00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:15.810
Yes, because too many times I know it's hard to have those conversations with your parents because they also still view you as a child sometimes in some aspects.

00:08:15.810 --> 00:08:20.430
But, like Jess said, you have to actually have the numbers behind it.

00:08:20.430 --> 00:08:22.065
Them simply saying, yeah, we're fine.

00:08:22.065 --> 00:08:23.129
What does that mean?

00:08:23.129 --> 00:08:33.905
Because even if they don't want to necessarily have that conversation with you and give you some pushback, at the end of the day you're going to need to know this information because the day that they do pass away, you are going to have to handle their estates.

00:08:33.905 --> 00:08:36.380
You're going to have to know the information one way or another.

00:08:36.380 --> 00:08:41.366
And this is one way to get the information up front when it's easy, when they're healthy.

00:08:41.386 --> 00:08:44.230
When everybody's sound of mind, of sound mind, yeah, of sound mind.

00:08:44.250 --> 00:08:46.312
But then also you can help them navigate.

00:08:46.312 --> 00:08:49.376
If you see any areas where there could be some potential problems.

00:08:49.376 --> 00:09:24.109
And if that approach doesn't work I think I've said it on here a million times I will draw a line in the sand and say that if you do not want to have this conversation to make sure that you are all set when it comes to retirement, do not ask me for a dime if the issue arises down the line, Because we could have mitigated maybe some of these risks by having this conversation early on, and I don't want you to burden me with your lack of preparation, your lack of willingness to be open and have a conversation about it.

00:09:24.109 --> 00:09:29.390
And now I have to deal with the issue when I'm trying to handle everything in regards to my life and my family.

00:09:29.792 --> 00:09:30.072
Right.

00:09:30.072 --> 00:09:38.731
Have you been listening to our podcast and wondering how am I really doing with my money?

00:09:38.731 --> 00:09:41.466
Am I doing the right things with my investments?

00:09:41.466 --> 00:09:44.153
Am I on track to reach my financial goals?

00:09:44.153 --> 00:09:45.926
What could I be doing better?

00:09:45.926 --> 00:10:01.187
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then it's time for you to reach out to Brandon to schedule your free yes, I said free 30-minute introduction conversation to see how his services could help make you the more confident moneymaker we know you could be.

00:10:01.187 --> 00:10:02.871
What are you waiting for?

00:10:02.871 --> 00:10:10.412
It's literally free and at the very least, you'll walk away feeling more empowered and confident about your financial future.

00:10:10.412 --> 00:10:12.063
Link is in our show notes.

00:10:12.063 --> 00:10:13.568
Go schedule your call today.

00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:19.649
Brandon is very passionate about that.

00:10:19.649 --> 00:10:22.177
I know he said it a few times on the podcast.

00:10:22.177 --> 00:10:29.211
We talk about it all the time and when he talks about that line in the sand, he has drawn it for all of our family members.

00:10:29.231 --> 00:10:50.528
Yes, I have said this too, like thankfully, most of our family listens to you know what I try to tell them and I help them out, you know as far as managing their money and everything like that, so it's not really a huge issue, but I definitely said I I was like you know what I do for a living let's go ahead and have these conversations.

00:10:50.528 --> 00:10:52.033
If you don't and there's issues on the line do not come to me.

00:10:52.053 --> 00:10:57.620
Then yeah, because I'm proactively coming to you now with time right because time is the biggest factor in all of this yep, and we have it on our side at this point in time.

00:10:57.620 --> 00:11:07.648
And if you don't want to, you know, talk to me don't come to me later don't don't come knocking on this door you, because I know that's such a hard thing to do and a hard thing to say.

00:11:07.648 --> 00:11:09.418
You know, because it's your parents, and is it?

00:11:09.458 --> 00:11:11.384
would it actually be the reality of like?

00:11:11.403 --> 00:11:23.586
well, I told you five years ago not to come to me, so well, think about it too, because then this could become like a cascading effect where, like, you are doing proper planning in your life and your parents derailed your planning.

00:11:23.586 --> 00:11:36.923
So now, like once you get to their age, you didn't have the plan in place, you don't have the money in place that you thought you would have, because they sucked it out right and now your kids are stuck yeah, you know what this reminds me.

00:11:36.942 --> 00:11:45.091
I was like seeing this guy um obviously years ago and and I.

00:11:45.091 --> 00:11:56.119
I used to like drive my car until the gas light was like on, on, you know, and he was always like you need to just go and get gas, and I don't know why it's.

00:11:56.119 --> 00:12:03.982
I don't do it anymore I have not done it since this time, um, but he always was like do not call me if you run out of gas.

00:12:03.982 --> 00:12:06.330
And I, straight up, ran out of gas once.

00:12:06.330 --> 00:12:08.126
It was the first and only time in my life.

00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:10.525
Yes, it totally does.

00:12:10.525 --> 00:12:13.148
First and only time in my life that I've run out of gas.

00:12:13.148 --> 00:12:15.869
And of course I called him and he's like I don't know what you're calling me for.

00:12:15.869 --> 00:12:20.879
And I mean, you know, everything's totally fine.

00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:29.128
He's got a beautiful wife, beautiful child, now all the things, like everything ended on on fine terms and we even and joked about it.

00:12:29.128 --> 00:12:35.511
But he was like I told you from the very beginning do not call me if you run out of gas, because I'm telling you to fill up your gas tank.

00:12:35.511 --> 00:12:37.825
So anyway, that's what that reminded me of.

00:12:38.024 --> 00:12:51.634
I mean it's but it's true, because we talk about the things that we are, you know, talking to our kids about when it comes to finances and setting them up for a better place when they get older than you know where we're at.

00:12:51.634 --> 00:12:56.667
The idea is to pass the knowledge along that we have acquired and build upon that.

00:12:57.027 --> 00:12:57.847
Know better, do better.

00:12:58.208 --> 00:12:58.389
But.

00:12:58.389 --> 00:13:08.004
But if you don't have the money to do these things, you know, then we would just pass the burden down to them as far as having to take care of us, because we had to take care of our parents.

00:13:08.330 --> 00:13:19.400
Well, you know, it's even crazier going back to like really, and you might need to ease your way into saying, hey, mom and dad, we need to have this conversation Right Like you can't just like bombard them and pull up your accounts.

00:13:19.509 --> 00:13:20.812
I mean, that's not going to work.

00:13:20.812 --> 00:13:22.495
So you need to ease in.

00:13:22.495 --> 00:13:26.361
You need to say, you know, hey, these are the things we're thinking of, these are top of mind.

00:13:26.361 --> 00:13:40.197
We want to make sure you're OK, come at it from a place of love and concern and and you know wanting them to be in a good place.

00:13:40.197 --> 00:13:42.303
As you're saying, hey, we need to look at your savings, we need to look at your debt.

00:13:42.303 --> 00:13:43.365
Do you have long term care in place?

00:13:43.365 --> 00:13:44.548
What does it look like?

00:13:44.548 --> 00:13:44.769
Et cetera.

00:13:44.769 --> 00:13:49.793
You want long-term care in place, what does it look like?

00:13:49.793 --> 00:13:49.894
Etc.

00:13:49.894 --> 00:13:52.442
You want those details and you can't just have your parents keep telling you oh, we're fine, we're fine, don't worry.

00:13:52.442 --> 00:13:54.187
Don't worry because, like brandon said, it is going to fall to us at the end of the day.

00:13:54.187 --> 00:14:02.034
But we have friends who have parents living with them and they don't know anything about their financial situation yeah they are, they are living and that that's it.

00:14:02.235 --> 00:14:06.903
There's no knowledge of their debt, their credit cards, their credit score, their this, their that.

00:14:06.903 --> 00:14:08.975
That is not okay.

00:14:09.076 --> 00:14:09.591
Yeah, for me.

00:14:09.591 --> 00:14:21.043
I don't judge anybody about the situation because that's their situation, but I can assure you that if one of our parents had to live with us in our house, I'm going to know everything about your finances before you move in Right.

00:14:21.043 --> 00:14:24.149
That's just the rule, either it happens or you don't move in.

00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:25.856
You need to be an open book at that point.

00:14:26.090 --> 00:14:36.159
Because, I mean, you got to think about it too and unfortunately, in those scenarios, that dynamic between being the parent and the child is one thing, but then if you're asking me to fund something for you, Now I'm the parent.

00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:39.918
Yes, the dynamic has to change and they can't view you through that same lens.

00:14:39.918 --> 00:14:46.201
Through that same lens, because you can't say like, oh, you don't need to worry about this, but I'm paying all your bills.

00:14:46.221 --> 00:14:47.004
That's not how that works, right?

00:14:47.004 --> 00:14:50.095
That's like just when your mama is like oh, you can't, I can't check those text messages.

00:14:50.095 --> 00:14:51.177
Who's paying that phone bill?

00:14:51.177 --> 00:14:55.756
Exactly, it's the same thing, I mean the the table can turn yeah in that.

00:14:55.976 --> 00:15:03.596
In that sense I'll say I was gonna say it's so like, obviously the best route is to try to be preemptive, to prevent from getting to this point.

00:15:03.596 --> 00:15:10.385
But if you are currently in this point, then there are some things that you can do to maybe help mitigate that situation.

00:15:10.629 --> 00:15:13.470
Okay, let's talk about those, because we want to give people solutions.

00:15:13.470 --> 00:15:18.982
We don't want to induce stress and anxiety of people being like, oh, my mom's going to move in with me.

00:15:19.610 --> 00:15:41.025
Well, I'm going to go ahead and start with one of the things that we actually do, but we're not in this current situation, and that's having flexibility in your career, your work schedule, so working remote, for example, those individuals that maybe have to actually care for an ill parent being able to work remote can allow you that flexibility.

00:15:41.490 --> 00:15:44.716
But there's plenty of professions that cannot work remote right Now.

00:15:44.716 --> 00:15:47.222
Now let's say you're a nurse and you're currently bedside.

00:15:47.222 --> 00:15:57.214
That's one thing but there's also nurses who work from home and they work with pharmacists and you know prescription drug companies etc.

00:15:57.214 --> 00:15:57.595
Etc.

00:15:57.595 --> 00:16:07.221
So it might be something to look into yes and be willing to transition to, in the event that you did have an aging parent that needed to be at home with you because the thing is too, is like.

00:16:07.280 --> 00:16:31.320
I don't ever want to just say like it's not the simple thing to just change careers right, yeah, you made it sound really easy no, I do apologize if I made it sound easy, but trying to find that flexibility, like you said, if you are in a career that allows it, because things have 100 obviously, obviously changed since the pandemic, but then also the reality is that if you are going to take on this responsibility, you might have to do a pivot career wise also.

00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:37.619
Yeah, I mean it's not easy and I'm not saying that's the first thing you should go to, but it could provide some flexibility.

00:16:39.370 --> 00:16:41.138
No, it's always something to look into.

00:16:41.138 --> 00:16:44.072
I mean something to be prepared for.

00:16:44.072 --> 00:16:51.537
Hopefully, again, this doesn't happen and it doesn't need to be the scenario, but, in the event, thinking about some flexible options.

00:16:51.537 --> 00:17:03.605
Or maybe, you know, in the case of maybe one spouse is working somewhere quote unquote in the field, right, like in a hospital or in an office, but then the other spouse has more flexibility to work from home.

00:17:03.765 --> 00:17:12.511
Yeah, so the I mean I think that kind of also really boils down to once again diving deep into your own budget and seeing what flexibility you have there from a money management standpoint.

00:17:12.511 --> 00:17:18.830
You know, obviously two one comes is better than you know one most of the time.

00:17:18.830 --> 00:17:32.866
But in that given scenario, instead of having to maybe outsource the care for your parents and pay for it, it might make sense to either, you know, cut back on work, maybe not work if it works for the number standpoint.

00:17:32.866 --> 00:17:36.637
It's just being open to the options and exploring what's, you know, possible.

00:17:37.098 --> 00:17:37.338
Right.

00:17:37.579 --> 00:17:37.980
It's hard.

00:17:39.163 --> 00:17:45.210
Yeah, I mean, I don't think any of this is easy Because at the same time, it's the sandwich generation.

00:17:45.210 --> 00:17:56.981
So you're doing all of this while still, you know, maybe packing school lunches or setting your kid up in their dorm for college, and I mean again, you're still living your life as it is.

00:17:56.981 --> 00:18:01.141
And then you're adding this extra component of taking care of aging parents.

00:18:01.809 --> 00:18:07.691
Yeah, and the next one is like exploring different options that may be available to you or your current employer is.

00:18:07.691 --> 00:18:18.196
When it comes to like different types of leave that may be available to you, Main one we're thinking about is like FMLA, which is Family and Medical stands for Family and Medical Leave Act.

00:18:18.577 --> 00:18:18.798
Right.

00:18:18.798 --> 00:18:38.824
Well, and that, I feel like, would be in a more dire situation, because if you're filing for FMLA, really the protection is around, you still get to keep your job, but in most cases you are not getting paid during that time and I think most of the time is capped at 12 weeks, similar to when you're taking your maternity benefits.

00:18:38.824 --> 00:18:48.324
So this is not the ideal route to take, but in the event that there would be something emergent, it is an option that you can explore and you can talk to your HR department about it.

00:18:48.630 --> 00:18:58.605
And depending on where you work and how progressive the workplace benefits package is where you work, you might have other options of flexibility that you can utilize.

00:18:58.605 --> 00:19:01.558
But the key thing here we're saying is look to find out.

00:19:01.558 --> 00:19:04.617
Don't assume that like, oh, I don't have this option.

00:19:04.617 --> 00:19:05.835
No, explore it.

00:19:05.835 --> 00:19:12.361
Like you said, talk to the HR department, Explain to them what your situation is and they may be able to help you navigate that.

00:19:12.549 --> 00:19:19.243
Yeah, I know through our employee assistance program there is an aging parent component.

00:19:19.243 --> 00:19:20.711
I've never looked into it Again.

00:19:20.711 --> 00:19:36.228
We're fortunate enough that that is not our scenario right now, but I have seen the paperwork that there is something to help with elder care, which you know even if you just need becoming a caregiver to your parent can be mentally very taxing.

00:19:36.228 --> 00:19:41.721
Or being a caregiver to anybody Right, even if it's your spouse or whatever that situation may be.

00:19:41.721 --> 00:19:51.827
So, again, utilizing your therapy that you have available to you, there's other networks of people a lot of times through EAP that you have access to.

00:19:51.847 --> 00:20:01.781
Sometimes you just need an outlet and a place to talk things through, to get ideas, to talk to other people who are going through the same thing, to help shed clarity and perspective on the situation.

00:20:02.589 --> 00:20:04.997
And you'd be surprised at.

00:20:04.997 --> 00:20:23.232
You know, in this day and age, with you know all the negative things that come with social media and online and everything like that, there can be some real positive things as far as finding communities online of people that are, you know, in the same situation as you and maybe they have found ways to successfully navigate it and you know being in some of these online.

00:20:23.232 --> 00:20:29.784
You know groups can help you find solutions that you otherwise, exactly, absolutely, yeah.

00:20:29.824 --> 00:20:37.084
So utilize those resources for sure, because I think in this situation, flexibility and support are key.

00:20:37.329 --> 00:20:41.750
Yeah, and the other thing is as far as, like you know, finding other resources that are available.

00:20:41.750 --> 00:20:45.612
It's like utilizing different types of financial and caregiving assistance programs.

00:20:45.612 --> 00:20:47.296
I mean, there's all.

00:20:47.296 --> 00:20:49.481
Really what it is is also understanding.

00:20:49.481 --> 00:21:05.201
So you're going to have to obviously understand what your parents are eligible for and what's available to them, and it really is going to be doing some research and also reaching out to professionals that are, you know, within that specific field.

00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:05.942
There we go.

00:21:05.942 --> 00:21:14.220
Loss of words for me, but also, like you know, understanding, like the different aspects for your parents as far as, like their Medicaid, how their Social Security benefits work.

00:21:14.220 --> 00:21:22.319
Also, even looking in your area, are there any local nonprofits that help out with these different issues that people are encountering?

00:21:22.641 --> 00:21:22.881
Right.

00:21:24.869 --> 00:21:25.592
But then also, too, it's like you.

00:21:25.592 --> 00:21:29.502
You know, if you're taking care of your parent, do they possibly qualify as a dependent from a tax standpoint?

00:21:29.502 --> 00:21:36.103
So therefore, you are having you know, lower your, lowering your um taxable income there we go.

00:21:36.103 --> 00:21:37.173
Oh my gosh, what is?

00:21:37.192 --> 00:21:38.096
happening to you?

00:21:38.096 --> 00:21:39.101
He's y'all.

00:21:39.101 --> 00:21:43.114
Brandon hasn't been to a conference in a long time I forgot how tiring they can be he's like he.

00:21:43.114 --> 00:21:46.182
I can see his like social battery draining.

00:21:46.182 --> 00:21:47.815
We're going to have to get him a nap soon.

00:21:48.115 --> 00:21:50.394
Well, it's because I I I have.

00:21:50.394 --> 00:21:53.837
I would say I'm a little bit more introvert than I am extrovert.

00:21:54.058 --> 00:21:55.221
Yeah, I would agree with that.

00:21:55.221 --> 00:22:01.881
So you do well after people goes up and talks to people Exactly.

00:22:01.921 --> 00:22:03.022
So I'm running low.

00:22:03.022 --> 00:22:03.522
Is that an?

00:22:03.624 --> 00:22:08.595
ambervert, I don't know there's so many verts now, but back to the topic at hand.

00:22:08.595 --> 00:22:09.136
Okay, yes.

00:22:09.317 --> 00:22:17.053
Let's stay focused, Looking at the different programs that could be available to you to help, you know, relieve some of that tax burden, understand, like I said, the different tax credits and deductions.

00:22:17.053 --> 00:22:29.573
That scenario it's going to be, you know, could be state specific for some things, but then it's reaching out to a tech professional, you know, finding a CPA that is well-versed in this knowledge to help you out with that.

00:22:29.954 --> 00:22:30.636
Yeah, absolutely.

00:22:30.636 --> 00:22:34.154
Again, I mean this is a reoccurring theme in all of our episodes.

00:22:34.154 --> 00:22:37.762
Right, seek professional help, seek professional help.

00:22:37.762 --> 00:22:41.117
Do it before you're in dire straits.

00:22:41.117 --> 00:22:43.825
Right, do it while you're navigating.

00:22:43.825 --> 00:22:47.173
Do it while you're fresh in, whatever that situation is.

00:22:47.173 --> 00:22:48.316
We've said it.

00:22:48.316 --> 00:22:50.601
I mean we've said it with wills and trusts.

00:22:50.601 --> 00:22:51.631
We've said it with prenups.

00:22:51.631 --> 00:22:53.997
We've said it on our bankruptcy episode.

00:22:53.997 --> 00:22:57.605
Reach out to professionals.

00:22:57.605 --> 00:23:03.896
Don't assume, don't get your information off of TikTok, don't even get it from our podcast.

00:23:03.896 --> 00:23:10.226
We are giving you the ideas and the foundations of things to dig into further with these professionals.

00:23:10.226 --> 00:23:14.260
That's why we are bringing lawyers and attorneys on.

00:23:14.260 --> 00:23:15.695
That's why we're going to have CPAs.

00:23:15.695 --> 00:23:19.621
That's why we're going to have people who are professionals in their industry.

00:23:20.430 --> 00:23:23.721
Yeah, because especially on this topic, we're not speaking from firsthand experience.

00:23:24.009 --> 00:23:24.290
Right.

00:23:24.330 --> 00:23:25.957
We're speaking because we have seen it in our friend circle.

00:23:25.957 --> 00:23:27.682
Yeah Cause, especially on this topic, we're not speaking from firsthand experience.

00:23:27.701 --> 00:23:42.070
Right, we're speaking because we have seen it in our friend circle where these things have come up and it's sometimes issues of contention and they're trying to just do what they can Like I said to one, be where they want to be financially in their life, while also having to deal with that aspect.

00:23:42.070 --> 00:23:56.238
Because also the things here too I just want to address this also is that normally it's not like both parents, it's one parent, so you don't want to start having any resentment for your partner because maybe their parent is the one that you're now financially taking care of.

00:23:56.238 --> 00:24:03.584
So you have to have these conversations openly with your spouse and with your parents.

00:24:03.584 --> 00:24:14.902
Because, for example, if I was just simply Thankfully, this wouldn't be an issue because my mom has done well for herself, but if I imagine I just moved my mom in the house without talking to Jess that's not going to fly.

00:24:15.142 --> 00:24:15.542
It is not.

00:24:17.171 --> 00:24:20.760
So you have to have these conversations and be open, because you don't want to.

00:24:20.760 --> 00:24:31.334
You know, bringing up a parent to help take care of them, and that is one of the and then that's be the trigger point that causes your marriage to not go well.

00:24:31.354 --> 00:24:31.634
Right?

00:24:31.634 --> 00:24:38.705
Well, because there's the the emotional and mental aspect behind it and the time right Of like, where are you spending your time now?

00:24:38.705 --> 00:24:51.288
But then if there's a huge monetary component as well, I mean, hey, you just took away our vacation money because you moved your mom in and maybe we had to fund a whole new bedroom set.

00:24:51.288 --> 00:24:53.414
I mean, the possibilities of what could happen are endless.

00:24:53.414 --> 00:24:57.457
But again, you want to keep your marriage and your foundation rock solid.

00:24:57.457 --> 00:25:02.596
So, having these conversations and outlining, in the event that this happens, what would that look like?

00:25:03.184 --> 00:25:05.733
Again, you have to go back to the finances.

00:25:05.733 --> 00:25:07.560
It's a completely different conversation if Brandon were to say, hey, I have to go back to the finances.

00:25:07.560 --> 00:25:16.292
It's a completely different conversation if Brandon were to say, hey, I need to move my mom in, but don't worry, she's got all of her finances in place, she just needs a safe place to live.

00:25:16.292 --> 00:25:28.113
That's a very different conversation than, ooh, I need to get a second job because now we have my mom's medical expenses and I'm not going to be able to work as much because she's got this doctor's appointment and that doctor's appointment.

00:25:28.113 --> 00:25:30.598
I mean those are very different conversations.

00:25:30.765 --> 00:25:37.695
They are very different conversations and the thing is, too, is that even sometimes like so, for example, I'm going to use this is that, unfortunately, alzheimer's runs in our family.

00:25:37.695 --> 00:25:53.926
So one of the things that I did as early as possible with my mom was is get her a long-term care policy so that she has a policy that, you know, god forbid if she if she does have has Alzheimer's, she can get in-home care and it's not going to completely deplete all the all the wealth that she's accumulated.

00:25:54.288 --> 00:25:54.828
Right All right.

00:25:55.130 --> 00:26:02.616
So even sometimes in certain scenarios, if you know certain things running your family, it might be beneficial that like hey get ahead of it.

00:26:02.616 --> 00:26:03.987
Well, one get ahead of it.

00:26:03.987 --> 00:26:13.259
But, like, if your parents can't afford it, it might make sense for you to just go ahead and pay for it, because that will cost you less than the alternative of not having it and still having to take care of them.

00:26:13.500 --> 00:26:13.840
Yes.

00:26:13.984 --> 00:26:20.979
So sometimes it's putting these things in place beforehand that you maybe have to pay for because your parents can't afford it, because in the long run it's going to cost you less.

00:26:21.285 --> 00:26:22.471
Yeah, that's a really good call out.

00:26:22.711 --> 00:26:23.030
Because I know.

00:26:23.030 --> 00:26:31.759
I definitely call out because I know, I definitely know in certain communities, um, I definitely have heard of people like said parents can't necessarily afford a long-term care policy, so the kids pull together.

00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:34.080
They pay for it because they know it's going to be lost.

00:26:34.201 --> 00:26:54.289
It's going to be much more cost effective to have that in place than the alternative, having to take care of them themselves well, you could even and not to get take this to like a morbid type of dark place, but you could do that, even if it's like, hey, my parents don't have life insurance but I, you know, have a great paying job and I know that they're going to need burial expenses, et cetera, et cetera.

00:26:54.790 --> 00:27:00.048
And I mean the reality is, is generational wealth a lot of times is built with life insurance.

00:27:00.048 --> 00:27:07.236
And so, taking a policy out on your parent or parents, you know, in the event that they don't have proper life insurance, that's an option as well.

00:27:07.236 --> 00:27:09.212
Parents, you know, in the event that they don't have proper life insurance, that's an option as well.

00:27:09.212 --> 00:27:14.733
For you know, when they're no longer here, which is not what that episode is about, but just there are options in place.

00:27:14.733 --> 00:27:24.208
And again, if you are needing long-term care or want to talk about disability insurance, life insurance, all of those things, that is something Brandon can help you with.

00:27:24.208 --> 00:27:26.973
So, reach out, schedule some time.

00:27:26.973 --> 00:27:34.596
That long-term care, I mean having somebody come into your home versus sending somebody to a facility.

00:27:35.178 --> 00:27:48.438
I mean that in itself is beneficial you know, and I mean there's been studies about how having older generations around younger generations in the same home can actually extend their life expectancy.

00:27:48.438 --> 00:27:55.999
So I mean I know I would rather be at home with my family getting the care that I need than in some facility.

00:27:56.545 --> 00:28:05.096
And also the thing is, too, is like for certain things let's just say hypothetically, part of the aspect of your parents needing help financially is due to debt that they have.

00:28:05.096 --> 00:28:15.268
We just released an episode that talks about possibly filing a bankruptcy, because maybe your parent's situation, the best situation, is to actually just file bankruptcy.

00:28:15.429 --> 00:28:22.095
Right and depending on their age, like if they're not looking to buy a house, they're not looking to buy a car, they're not trying to acquire any more assets.

00:28:22.095 --> 00:28:26.830
Why not liquidate all of their debts so that you don't have to take on that burden?

00:28:26.830 --> 00:28:27.030
I?

00:28:27.030 --> 00:28:38.744
Mean who wants to be paying off medical debts and credit card debts and whatever else might have happened Bad divorces, bad relationships, you getting into debt because you know they needed to get themselves out of a bad situation.

00:28:39.006 --> 00:28:42.654
Yeah, if you haven't listened to that episode with Adrian Hines, then I definitely recommend listening to it, because it's just a great episode to listen to.

00:28:42.654 --> 00:28:46.324
Yes, and I definitely recommend listening to because it's just a great episode to listen to.

00:28:46.324 --> 00:28:56.374
Yes, it would completely change your perspective on bankruptcy and make you understand that it could be a vital tool to help reset and put you on the path to where you want to be.

00:28:56.654 --> 00:28:57.865
Exactly so.

00:28:57.865 --> 00:28:59.993
Let's talk about we've talked about our parents.

00:28:59.993 --> 00:29:07.952
Let's talk about our children, because I really want to make sure that we do better right Our big thing is always know better, do better.

00:29:07.952 --> 00:29:17.913
How do we help our children not be in that situation when it's their time, when they have their own families, when they are the next sandwich generation?

00:29:17.913 --> 00:29:19.217
How do we fix that?

00:29:19.217 --> 00:29:21.512
How can we set them up for success?

00:29:21.644 --> 00:29:27.451
I mean, first it just starts with having those money conversations, just normalizing having everyday conversations about money.

00:29:27.451 --> 00:29:33.451
You know, with our kids we always joke that they waste so much food and, like strawberries are not cheap.

00:29:33.692 --> 00:29:35.882
Oh my gosh, the berries, how many, how many.

00:29:35.882 --> 00:29:40.953
If we had a dollar every time we talk about the berries again, we would be in Bora Bora.

00:29:41.655 --> 00:30:11.193
So it's just, you know, at a young age, starting off with that, that, just making them understand that things cost money, and I'm not saying like parade them about every single, you know cent oh, I straight up told aston, if she leaves her room again without turning off the light, I'm starting to take money out of her dang piggy bank I said something I did I did say something to roman the other day where, like, oh, he was wearing, he was wearing his socks outside he was wearing his socks outside with no shoes on and dirtying them up, and I was like Roman, if you keep doing that and we keep buying you new socks?

00:30:11.244 --> 00:30:12.569
I was like you do realize socks cost money.

00:30:12.569 --> 00:30:15.092
He's like yeah, I was like how much money do you have?

00:30:15.092 --> 00:30:16.115
He said I got $20.

00:30:16.605 --> 00:30:17.530
That's his birthday money.

00:30:17.530 --> 00:30:19.071
He is stuck on that $20.

00:30:19.071 --> 00:30:32.035
I'm going to start taking Aston.

00:30:32.195 --> 00:30:36.233
When they become adults, when they become adults and he goes should we get a hot tub?

00:30:36.233 --> 00:30:41.951
And Aston's response was well, hot tubs are really expensive, you know.

00:30:41.951 --> 00:30:43.376
And so it just again.

00:30:43.376 --> 00:30:43.857
We're just.

00:30:43.857 --> 00:30:48.404
We're not having deep conversations about money with our kids, we're just making it relatable.

00:30:48.404 --> 00:30:56.919
We're talking about life and we are trying to help them understand that everything you touch in this home, everything you touch in this car, costs money.

00:30:56.919 --> 00:31:00.672
You know, aston came home and she said hey, she was so like.

00:31:00.672 --> 00:31:03.178
She was like I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry my headphones broke.

00:31:03.178 --> 00:31:10.846
They were $13 headphones off of Amazon, like they're not going to last forever.

00:31:10.846 --> 00:31:11.489
And we said it's not a big deal.

00:31:11.489 --> 00:31:13.715
And thankfully we were able to order her another pair um without any problems.

00:31:13.715 --> 00:31:18.327
But you know, she now is really starting to understand things cost money.

00:31:18.849 --> 00:31:21.234
When you don't eat your dinner, that is wasted money.

00:31:21.234 --> 00:31:23.888
When you ruin your clothes, that is wasted money.

00:31:24.653 --> 00:31:31.200
And then also we we, I mean we are very open in the conversations that we have as far as like, oh you know, mommy makes, mommy goes.

00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:32.444
Why is mommy in her meetings?

00:31:32.444 --> 00:31:33.548
Mommy's in her meetings?

00:31:33.548 --> 00:31:37.869
Because she's working and that's how she's making money to help pay for the life that we have.

00:31:37.869 --> 00:31:42.366
And also making them understand that like, hey, we're trying to grow in our career, we're trying to.

00:31:42.366 --> 00:31:48.339
You know, it's not always just about the money, but it's about the life that we want to live and, let's be honest, it's funded by money.

00:31:48.359 --> 00:31:56.108
So just making sure they understand those basic things, like we're not, like I'm not like teaching my kids about, like, the S and P 500 or anything like that, not at this point.

00:31:56.108 --> 00:32:00.426
That would be a conversation as they get older and, you know, as they progress in their knowledge.

00:32:00.426 --> 00:32:03.932
But really it's just getting them comfortable talking about money.

00:32:03.932 --> 00:32:08.298
So, like in our house, it's not going to be a taboo, it's not going to be something they're scared to talk about.

00:32:08.298 --> 00:32:08.920
It's not going to.

00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:10.970
They're not going to grow up being shamed about money.

00:32:10.970 --> 00:32:12.694
They're not going to grow up being afraid of money.

00:32:12.694 --> 00:32:27.037
It's going to, it's going to be the normal conversation and that's really what we want them to do because, let's just say hypothetically- you know you don't get all the financial literacy, you are going to be much more prone to go get that information.

00:32:27.317 --> 00:32:27.897
Absolutely.

00:32:27.897 --> 00:32:32.849
And then also one of the big things that we talk about all the time in our house is problem solving.

00:32:32.849 --> 00:32:45.710
So if you feel comfortable and there's no shame around talking about money and you feel comfortable asking questions, then you're also going to do research and figure out how to problem solve things you know, as they get older.

00:32:45.730 --> 00:32:54.994
I mean, aston was already talking about she wanted a face painting kit and she was talking about how she could make that her business and she could be a face painter at birthday parties.

00:32:55.435 --> 00:33:07.375
We are absolutely leaning into that and are encouraging her to, you know, to practice her face painting and then, yeah, maybe we go to the park one day and maybe she does some face painting and then maybe she starts charging.

00:33:07.375 --> 00:33:15.236
I mean, we want, you know them, to have that entrepreneurial spirit and to really understand that you can make your life what you want it to be.

00:33:15.236 --> 00:33:27.116
And when it comes to, hey, mommy and daddy are in meetings, like, let's respect their time, we pull it back to you know, hey, remember when we went on that Disney cruise and had that great adventure that costs money.

00:33:27.116 --> 00:33:31.977
And so we tie it back to the things we know that they love and currently are important to them.

00:33:31.977 --> 00:33:41.986
And one of the things that we talk to them about is this Christmas we're actually going away and we're doing a Christmas trip and we're not buying them presents Now.

00:33:41.986 --> 00:33:43.852
We're still going to do mini stocking stuffers.

00:33:43.852 --> 00:33:44.815
They don't know that.

00:33:44.944 --> 00:33:47.954
And they'll probably get some presents, obviously from other people.

00:33:48.384 --> 00:33:50.232
Maybe, but we're not encouraging that.

00:33:50.232 --> 00:33:56.112
But we really want them to understand the value of you know the trip, the flight is part of your present.

00:33:56.112 --> 00:33:57.751
The hotel room is part of your present.

00:33:57.751 --> 00:34:01.208
When we go out to dinner while we're on this trip, that is part of your present.

00:34:01.208 --> 00:34:09.677
And they've already wrapped their head around it and they're really excited, and so you know showing them what we spend money on and that's where we find value.

00:34:09.836 --> 00:34:11.559
And then let's just be honest, these little toys.

00:34:11.978 --> 00:34:13.340
Oh my God, Our kids have more toys than they need.

00:34:13.340 --> 00:34:17.338
Like what toy from your?

00:34:17.231 --> 00:34:17.610
childhood.

00:34:17.610 --> 00:34:17.989
Do you remember getting at Christmas?

00:34:17.989 --> 00:34:18.512
You're not going to remember that from when you were five.

00:34:18.512 --> 00:34:22.855
I have no idea what I got for Christmas when I was five years old.

00:34:22.855 --> 00:34:23.215
No idea, but when.

00:34:23.215 --> 00:34:24.114
I was five years old, no idea.

00:34:24.135 --> 00:34:25.456
But I do remember you remember your trips.

00:34:25.516 --> 00:34:31.800
I do remember taking a trip to Acapulco, mexico, when I was five and there was like thousands of crabs in the street that terrified me.

00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:33.081
See, I remember all that.

00:34:33.121 --> 00:34:35.902
It's the adventures that are long lasting.

00:34:35.902 --> 00:34:42.048
So that's what we want to give our children, and if that's not what you want to give your children, that's okay.

00:34:42.048 --> 00:34:46.199
We're just giving the example of how we normalize money conversations, because that's where it starts.

00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:54.193
When we have guests and we ask them their first money memory, a lot of them are hey, there was no financial conversation in our house.

00:34:54.193 --> 00:34:55.771
We weren't allowed to talk about money.

00:34:55.771 --> 00:34:58.213
I didn't learn about money until I went to college.

00:34:58.213 --> 00:34:59.791
We don't want that to happen.

00:34:59.791 --> 00:35:01.612
That is the start of so many problems.

00:35:02.166 --> 00:35:11.552
I want our kids to be the ones that, once they go to college and they have a friend or a roommate, or whether, like I don't know about this, I don't know about this, and like I got you, Exactly, I can help you with this.

00:35:11.673 --> 00:35:37.032
Yes, and the thing is, too, is that, like I said, it's progressions in regards've been doing, and this is what we're going to continue doing for you, and I want you to understand how this works, how it's beneficial for you and all those things as well, so, like showing them the hands-on aspect of it as well.

00:35:37.291 --> 00:35:41.168
Yes, I mean, we obviously talk about saving as well.

00:35:41.168 --> 00:35:42.570
We talk about not.

00:35:42.570 --> 00:35:46.858
You know, if you get a gift card for your birthday or you get money for your birthday, let's put it in our piggy bank.

00:35:46.858 --> 00:36:00.016
We're going to save that money and, yes, we want to encourage you to spend it on something that's meaningful to you, but let's also make sure that we're giving and that we're saving and that we're planning for a rainy day, so to speak.

00:36:00.175 --> 00:36:03.528
And the thing is too, we want to make sure that obviously they're little kids.

00:36:03.528 --> 00:36:09.199
We want our kids to enjoy their childhood and enjoy being kids, because you have such a short period of time in life to be a child.

00:36:09.259 --> 00:36:09.840
Yes, oh, so short.

00:36:10.306 --> 00:36:21.996
But what I want to instill in them is like take a second stop and think, hey, is this thing that I'm purchasing, is it really going to bring me joy or is it just a gratification for a moment because I want to buy something?

00:36:22.085 --> 00:36:29.679
Yeah, we know that our children's generation for sure need to learn or unlearn the instant gratification.

00:36:29.679 --> 00:36:33.856
Like patience is one of the best things, I think, we can teach our children.

00:36:34.786 --> 00:36:36.070
I would say they're even getting a little bit better.

00:36:36.070 --> 00:36:41.490
Just like asking, asking Aston, or asking Roman like hey, do you really want to spend your money on that Cause?

00:36:41.490 --> 00:36:46.530
Like, especially like our son Roman, he loves little um hot wheel cars and he has hundreds and hundreds of them.

00:36:46.530 --> 00:36:48.074
And I'm like Roman, do you?

00:36:48.155 --> 00:36:49.447
really want, do you really need?

00:36:49.467 --> 00:36:49.971
another one.

00:36:49.971 --> 00:36:57.577
Unfortunately, at this point in time it's the most important thing in his entire life, but that's like all he asks for.

00:36:57.577 --> 00:36:58.778
He doesn't ask for all these other things.

00:36:59.585 --> 00:37:03.396
I mean they're like 99 cents to $1.25, depending on where you go.

00:37:03.396 --> 00:37:06.735
So it feels very manageable, you know.

00:37:06.735 --> 00:37:15.438
But I think that there's also going to come a time where it's hey, you're asking for this, but how about if we wait a week and mommy gives you two extra dollars because you waited?

00:37:18.885 --> 00:37:27.074
And then you pull in like compound interest, right, and then you start like looping in those terms that are going to be beneficial, like hey, if you can be patient, if you can wait, your money can grow.

00:37:27.074 --> 00:37:33.092
Or here's why we're putting it in this kind of an account, so that it can grow and it can start working for you.

00:37:33.092 --> 00:37:36.487
Because, again, we very much believe money is a tool.

00:37:36.487 --> 00:37:38.539
It is not the goal anything.

00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:40.266
The thing is to like kind of taking a step back.

00:37:40.967 --> 00:37:50.740
Um, you just don't want to repeat the same patterns you know, just because you know your parents didn't have the financial literacy that was available to them.

00:37:50.740 --> 00:37:53.630
You maybe didn't have it growing up the way that you would like to.

00:37:53.630 --> 00:37:57.288
You want to change that, that narrative, and the thing is too.

00:37:57.288 --> 00:38:03.235
It's like know better, do better, and we have so many more resources, so you can't fault to a certain extent.

00:38:03.235 --> 00:38:07.413
You sometimes can't fault your parents because they didn't know what they didn't know and they didn't have access to it.

00:38:07.614 --> 00:38:10.253
Right, and their parents definitely weren't talking to them about it.

00:38:10.253 --> 00:38:12.945
Okay, you mentioned the 529 plan.

00:38:12.945 --> 00:38:16.876
We have an entire episode already released on 529s.

00:38:16.876 --> 00:38:19.846
Go listen to it.

00:38:19.846 --> 00:38:23.815
There's been a lot of really positive changes to 529 plans and we just encourage you to listen to it.

00:38:23.815 --> 00:38:25.887
Can you talk briefly about an UTMA account?

00:38:26.427 --> 00:38:38.759
An UTMA account stands for Uniform Transfer Minor Account and basically what it is is an investment account for a child that is custodial essentially for 18 years or less right.

00:38:38.759 --> 00:38:39.260
No, no, no.

00:38:39.260 --> 00:38:41.733
Well, as far as for the child, yes, yes.

00:38:41.965 --> 00:38:43.090
So what ends up happening is it's a.

00:38:43.090 --> 00:38:58.373
An UTMA account, is a Uniform Transfer to Minor account and it's an investment account for your child, but it is owned essentially by the parent until the child reaches a certain age of adulthood.

00:38:58.373 --> 00:39:00.733
In North Carolina, for us it's 22.

00:39:00.733 --> 00:39:02.469
In some states it's 18.

00:39:02.469 --> 00:39:07.556
It varies, but the idea is that it's actually in the child's name, so it's taxed differently.

00:39:07.556 --> 00:39:13.677
If there's any taxation on there, then it's taxed differently because it's taxed under the child's name as compared to being in the adult.

00:39:13.677 --> 00:39:19.646
But the big thing is that once they become of age, the account does transfer to them regardless.

00:39:20.268 --> 00:39:25.349
So then that's where that financial literacy comes in where it's like no, no, no, we're not touching that money.

00:39:25.349 --> 00:39:27.414
It's yours now, but we're not touching it.

00:39:27.554 --> 00:39:40.278
So if you've, like I said, if you've been putting a bunch of money in it since the day they were born and it's been growing, and they have a million dollars possibly in that account, it becomes theirs to do whatever they want at 22 in North Carolina, possibly 18.

00:39:40.844 --> 00:39:43.188
Now you did say parents, but then you also said adult.

00:39:43.188 --> 00:39:53.476
But this is also like if you're the rich auntie listening, you can open an app for you know any child in your life and hold onto that account again until they turn 18.

00:39:53.525 --> 00:39:55.090
Same idea with the 529 plan.

00:39:55.130 --> 00:39:55.291
Right.

00:39:55.311 --> 00:40:01.074
Cause you can open up a five, like, for example, if you're a grandparent, you can open up a 529 plan for your grandchild.

00:40:01.333 --> 00:40:02.677
Yeah, I love that.

00:40:02.677 --> 00:40:05.150
All right, we've covered a lot.

00:40:05.150 --> 00:40:07.072
I know we also gave you a lot of stories.

00:40:07.824 --> 00:40:10.025
We kind of veered a little bit here and there.

00:40:10.246 --> 00:40:10.987
But let's be serious.

00:40:10.987 --> 00:40:13.047
That's why you're here, because you like our stories.

00:40:13.047 --> 00:40:39.663
But we hope that in the sandwich generation that we're in, where we're raising our little humans, but also wanting to really ensure that our parents are taken care of, they're provided for, they've got what they need you know, it's so easy to get burnt out, so we need to also make sure that we are taking care of ourselves, and that starts by having the conversations with our parents to understand their financial situation.

00:40:39.663 --> 00:40:43.606
Everything starts with proper communication.

00:40:43.626 --> 00:40:45.289
What's going on in your life?

00:40:45.289 --> 00:40:46.510
What do you need help with?

00:40:46.510 --> 00:40:47.572
How can I help you?

00:40:47.572 --> 00:40:48.414
What can we do?

00:40:48.414 --> 00:40:52.440
I need all the details so that we know what we're working with.

00:40:52.559 --> 00:41:02.273
Yeah, and also going back to the communication between you and your partner, for example, right, having the conversations of what happens if yeah.

00:41:02.273 --> 00:41:03.356
Worst case scenario.

00:41:04.027 --> 00:41:13.554
Because we I mean Jess and I have talked about this Right Because, like I said, I have, unfortunately, Alzheimer's on my side of the family, my mom and her side, for her mom, they have dementia, Right.

00:41:13.644 --> 00:41:17.293
So these are real conversations that we have trying to understand.

00:41:17.293 --> 00:41:19.378
Well, what if we do need to move somebody?

00:41:19.378 --> 00:41:20.728
And what is that going to look like?

00:41:20.728 --> 00:41:22.394
How is that going to change our lives?

00:41:22.394 --> 00:41:25.215
How does it change the finances?

00:41:25.215 --> 00:41:29.096
Again, don't wait until the last minute to have that conversation.

00:41:29.096 --> 00:41:33.536
Just start talking about it now, and hopefully it doesn't turn into your reality.

00:41:33.536 --> 00:41:37.275
In the event that it does, it's not going to be the first time you talk about it.

00:41:41.284 --> 00:41:43.952
And here's the thing I'm talking to specifically some of our friends that we've had this conversation with, who I'm like.

00:41:43.952 --> 00:41:45.195
Do you know how your parents' finances are?

00:41:45.195 --> 00:41:47.570
And they're like I think they're okay Right.

00:41:47.610 --> 00:41:48.876
There's a lot of thinking.

00:41:49.987 --> 00:41:59.195
You can't operate in, I think maybe I feel like when you're dealing with finances, that's not an area you need to operate in, especially when you can have an answer.

00:41:59.757 --> 00:42:01.791
Right Literally pull up the account.

00:42:02.164 --> 00:42:04.574
Have your parents sit down and go through this with you.

00:42:04.574 --> 00:42:07.231
Like I said, I might be a little abrasive when I come to it.

00:42:07.231 --> 00:42:13.210
You know with maybe my background and what I do and just my personality in general, but let them know.

00:42:13.269 --> 00:42:14.512
I just said, I would say passionate.

00:42:14.673 --> 00:42:15.396
Passionate, there we go.

00:42:15.396 --> 00:42:33.637
Abrasive is like very negative, but I definitely agree with your approach as far as like coming to them from a place of like, love and concern yes, and planning and preparation right, but yeah, come, come at it from a place of love for sure.

00:42:33.717 --> 00:42:42.559
So you know, think about that balancing of work and caregiving, should that come up, as well as utilizing, you know, resources and other support systems.

00:42:42.559 --> 00:42:45.088
Really get to know your employee benefits package.

00:42:45.108 --> 00:42:48.396
What's available to you Understand the tax deductions, the credits.

00:42:48.396 --> 00:42:53.217
Whatever it may be, it's worth it to hire a really good CPA that understands this.

00:42:53.804 --> 00:42:59.356
Yes, a licensed financial planner is not a CPA, so Brandon is not a CPA.

00:42:59.396 --> 00:43:01.128
He's not going to answer your tax questions.

00:43:01.128 --> 00:43:05.791
Don't reach out to me about the tax deductions and credits that are available through this, because I am not your person at all.

00:43:05.891 --> 00:43:07.735
Not your person, he's not your guy for that.

00:43:07.925 --> 00:43:12.967
However, I do know CPAs that can help you, so if you are looking for recommendations, I can definitely provide those.

00:43:13.148 --> 00:43:20.693
Yes, and we've actually been meeting multiple awesome CPAs here at the conference as well, so we've got even more great contacts now.

00:43:20.693 --> 00:43:24.414
And then, you know, set up your kids for success.

00:43:24.414 --> 00:43:25.791
Start the conversations.

00:43:25.791 --> 00:43:29.275
Have regular conversations with your children about money.

00:43:29.275 --> 00:43:31.690
Normalize it in your household.

00:43:31.690 --> 00:43:33.916
Take away the shame, take away the fear.

00:43:33.916 --> 00:43:36.751
You know, and there are resources.

00:43:36.751 --> 00:43:39.626
There's now more children's books than there's ever been before.

00:43:39.626 --> 00:43:43.538
About, um, about money and children.

00:43:43.538 --> 00:43:49.757
We had lunch with somebody from ally today, and ally has really great resources for children as well.

00:43:49.757 --> 00:43:52.284
Again, just get the information in front of them.

00:43:52.284 --> 00:43:53.806
Normalize that conversation.

00:43:53.885 --> 00:43:57.289
Yeah, best way to uh deal with the problem is prevent it from occurring.

00:43:57.668 --> 00:43:59.429
Exactly, exactly.

00:43:59.429 --> 00:44:02.452
Well, friends, welcome to the sandwich generation.

00:44:02.452 --> 00:44:03.893
We are officially in it.

00:44:03.893 --> 00:44:29.077
Whether you have kids in college or kids in preschool, we all have aging parents, boomer parents at this point, hopefully, this episode just shed some light on what you can do now to start the conversation, start the planning process and, if you need any help in the arena of, you know, looking at your finances together, maybe having a mediator there, brandon is happy to help with that.

00:44:29.077 --> 00:44:36.550
If you're looking at long-term care for your parents and you know they don't have it disability insurance, et cetera Brandon can help you do that.

00:44:36.550 --> 00:44:38.295
Schedule your free consult.

00:44:43.724 --> 00:44:50.070
He's never going to sell or pitch you anything that you don't need, but we want you to be prepared for when you do need it and also just to know that you're not alone and if you're dealing with this struggle you're not alone.

00:44:50.070 --> 00:45:01.259
There's people out there that are dealing with it also, and I think sometimes it doesn't fix the problem, but from a mental health standpoint it can be helpful to know that I'm not in this by myself.

00:45:01.599 --> 00:45:07.869
Yeah, I mean, even though we're not in it, we're still in it because we're thinking about it we're planning for it.

00:45:07.869 --> 00:45:10.514
We're having the conversation, yeah.

00:45:11.125 --> 00:45:12.507
So we're at the part of that prevention.

00:45:12.507 --> 00:45:21.195
So we have these conversations early to make sure that if it does come to the point where we are taking care of our parents in some capacity, that the money's there to handle it.

00:45:21.496 --> 00:45:25.561
Yeah, and let's be serious, because I don't know that my brother's listening.

00:45:25.561 --> 00:45:28.983
It's going to fall to me and it's going to fall to you.

00:45:29.626 --> 00:45:32.253
Yeah, we already have older sibling issues.

00:45:32.335 --> 00:45:40.514
Yeah, I mean, let's be real, it's going to be you and me taking care of our parents and not our siblings.

00:45:40.514 --> 00:45:44.273
If they want to step up, that's great, but you know, just have the conversation.

00:45:44.273 --> 00:45:45.530
So we're going to wrap up.

00:45:45.530 --> 00:45:47.351
Thank you for being with us today.

00:45:47.351 --> 00:45:53.159
Thanks to LLCAttorneycom for sponsoring the live podcast at FinCon 2024.

00:45:53.159 --> 00:45:55.577
We hope you've enjoyed this episode.

00:45:55.577 --> 00:45:58.809
Share it with a friend, share it with your partner that needs to hear this.

00:45:58.809 --> 00:46:02.114
And happy sandwiching, don't forget.

00:46:02.114 --> 00:46:06.610
Benjamin franklin said an investment in knowledge pays the best interest.

00:46:06.610 --> 00:46:15.675
You just got paid until next time thanks for listening to today's episode.

00:46:15.715 --> 00:46:16.356
We go.

00:46:16.876 --> 00:46:18.619
Smart investments money flow.

00:46:18.619 --> 00:46:21.233
Thanks for listening to today's episode.

00:46:21.233 --> 00:46:24.126
We are so glad to have you as part of our Sugar Daddy community.

00:46:24.126 --> 00:46:32.594
If you learned something today, please remember to subscribe, rate, review and share this episode with your friends, family and extended network.

00:46:32.594 --> 00:46:36.697
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00:46:36.697 --> 00:46:47.936
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00:46:48.659 --> 00:46:50.952
Our content is intended to be used, and must be used, for informational purposes only.

00:46:50.952 --> 00:46:54.297
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00:46:54.297 --> 00:47:01.833
You should take independent financial advice from a licensed professional in connection with or independently research and verify any information you find in our podcast and wish to rely upon, whether for the purpose of making an investment decision or otherwise.