April 16, 2025
84: Six Figures and Still Struggling: The $250K Middle Class Trap
Money that once supported entire families now barely covers daycare costs, leaving many six-figure earners wondering: Is $250,000 the new middle class? Jess and Brandon are tackling this financial reality shift head-on, exploring why high incomes don't stretch as far as they used to.
Ready to break free from the high-income trap? Tune in for an honest conversation about navigating today's complex financial landscape and what you can do to stretch your dollar
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Chapters
00:00 - Is $250K the New Middle Class?
03:02 - Housing Costs vs Income Reality
05:15 - The Millennial Money Squeeze
11:00 - Net Worth vs Cash Flow
15:47 - Budgeting at All Income Levels
21:45 - Social Circles and Invisible Inflation
27:33 - Defining What's Enough
Transcript
WEBVTT
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In today's episode we are talking about the new middle class.
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Is a quarter of a million dollars, $250,000 a year?
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The new middle class?
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What is keeping six-figure earners broke?
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If this is of interest to you, tune in.
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Hey babe, what are?
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we talking about today.
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Grow Financial freedom's where we go Smart investments, money flow.
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Hey babe, what are we talking about today?
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Today, we are talking about the new middle class and how the money that our parents raised us on is not cutting it.
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today Is not cutting it today.
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It's not cutting it today.
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Oh, I mean, I really feel like if I think back to my childhood, I mean that was like our kids daycare, right Like what my parents earned, is like what we spent on daycare with two under two.
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It's just crazy.
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So we're talking about being high earners and still feeling like it's not enough.
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Yeah, Is you know, a household income of $250,000 a year, the new middle class?
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I mean, it kind of feels like it.
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If you would have told us in high school or in college you know that making $250,000 a year, I mean you would be like, oh my gosh, that is so much money, I wouldn't even know what to do with it.
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And the reality is is like I honestly think about people who don't make six figures, who aren't making $200,000.
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And I'm like how are you surviving?
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Yeah, I mean, I remember as a kid, like if your parents, if one of your parents was making six figures, he's making a hundred thousand dollars a year.
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Like you were set, you were doing really good.
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You were living a good life.
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Yeah Well, and also it reminds me of um, like kind of the, the viral reels right now, where it's like here's what I thought a million dollars would look like in a house, right, and it's like mansions rolling Hills, white picket fence, and it's like nope, here's 380 square feet in you know California and needs a full gut and renovation.
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And what's crazy is, like you know, obviously you think of high cost of living areas like California and New York.
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A million dollars is not getting you much.
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But we are located, you know, right outside of Raleigh, north Carolina, and a million dollars here is looking real different than it used to, even just five years ago, because we've definitely seen houses.
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You know, we're always looking at houses online just because it's our favorite pastime and we'll see one that's like a million dollars.
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I'm like there's no way I would pay that for that house right it doesn't have what I would think a million dollar house should have in it in the area that we're located for starters, a pool and a theater and a home gym, like let basics okay yeah we're not even there anymore.
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Yeah, and the houses are still on top of each other.
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Right, you like, lean over on your front porch and you can touch your neighbor's house and it's 1.2.
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Get out of here like it's crazy I mean the day high cost of living has kind of eroded that.
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You know ideal, ideal scenario of having a six figure income and feeling very comfortable.
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A lot of statistics have shown as far as the increase of just housing costs alone has increased dramatically and incomes have not kept up with that.
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I can't even speak properly.
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Incomes have not kept up the same way that houses have increased.
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So there is legitimacy to feeling as though that you're not able to buy the same things that your parents were able to buy at your age because they cost more.
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You literally can't.
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And technically, you're making less.
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Even though you're making more, in comparison, you're making less.
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Right.
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In comparison, you're making less, right?
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Yeah, because I mean, I think it again.
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You know Instagram and social media basically are saying you know the same 60 $70,000 that your parents raised a whole family off of.
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Now you need 300,000 to make that the equivalent.
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And that's insane Because, like Brandon already mentioned, you know jobs aren't increasing wages by hundreds of percentage points.
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You know so we were promised hey, you go to school, you get a four year degree, maybe you get an advanced degree, you'll live the American dream.
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And what did it do?
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It just put us into crazy amounts of debt.
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The job market is insane.
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Corporations are laying off people every single time.
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You, you know, get on the news or look at LinkedIn, it's like another mass layoff and then using the money to do stock buybacks.
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Oh, don't get Brandon started on that.
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That's a whole nother episode.
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So it really is.
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We are just in this very, very strange time.
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Add on top of that childcare costs, potentially, you know, also helping take care of aging parents, moving aging parents into your home.
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I mean, we have several people in our circle who have family members in their homes that they are fully funding.
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So there's just nuance that we are dealing with as millennials, as elder millennials, that our boomer parents simply did not have to consider or worry about.
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And we want to, you know, provide some legitimacy to the feelings that you have because I definitely feel so coming from the older generation.
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There can be some gaslighting and like, oh, look at how much money you make, why can't you afford this, why can't you afford this?
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Why can't you afford that?
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I'm like I'm sorry, ron, you bought your 4,000 square foot house 40 years ago and you paid $85,000 for it.
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Now it's worth $1.5 million.
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I'm sorry, not the same thing.
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Not Ron.
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I was just trying to think of an old person name, and Ron was the first one that popped in my head.
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All right, we're going to leave that one alone.
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I think, too, there's something to be said for there is that feeling of man I've made it right, like I have the great job, I have the high income, I should be able to buy the nice things, I should be able to have the nice house and have the nice car and throw the lavish birthday parties for my kids and go on the expensive vacations.
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What are you seeing with your clients?
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Like lifestyle creep and, you know, keeping up with the Joneses.
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I mean, what's your take on that?
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Well, I do want to take a step back for a moment and actually, you know, kind of break down the different classes in the sense of, traditionally the class that you were in, the socioeconomic class, was based upon your net worth, which I think is very different compared to how we look at socioeconomic class now, because I think we more focus on cash flow.
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Okay because I think we more focus on cash flow.
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Okay, so what I've seen you know from my experience is that there's a difference between having a high net worth and having a high cash flow.
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Yeah, cause you could have a high cash flow and negative net worth, and vice versa, right?
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So you know, I have clients that have high net worths but they feel the struggle because, you know, on paper they're multimillionaires but they're the struggle because you know, on paper they're multimillionaires but they're not bringing in a million dollars a year, so their cashflow is very different.
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These are people who, you know, maybe for the past 20 years, have had, you know, decent paying jobs and have been doing a lot of the right things when it comes to their finances and they have a lot of money saved up and they have a lot of money in their retirement accounts and stuff like that, but they're not bringing in a bunch of money on an annual basis that, like, I'm not bringing in five, six $700,000 a year on annual basis.
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And with the increase of cost of goods, they're feeling it as well, because most of their money is in accounts that you know are earmarked for retirement, so they really can't touch them per se.
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So do.
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Are you saying that they feel?
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even though on paper.
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They're fine they feel poor.
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I have clients that have net worths of $2 million and up, that are, you know, in their mid forties and they don't feel like millionaires.
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And I can understand how that, because a lot of that money is, you know, like I said, in accounts they can't use currently, right now, and the money that they have coming in on an annual basis from their income isn't several hundred thousand dollars.
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Have you been listening to our podcast and wondering how am I really doing with my money?
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Am I doing the right things with my investments?
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Am I on track to reach my financial goals?
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What could I be doing better?
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If you answered yes to any of these questions, then it's time for you to reach out to Brandon to schedule your free yes, I said free 30-minute introduction conversation to see how his services could help make you the more confident moneymaker we know you could be.
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What are you waiting for?
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It's literally free and at the very least, you'll walk away feeling more empowered and confident about your financial future.
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Link is in our show notes.
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Go schedule your call today.
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But I mean, what's nice about that?
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Going back to the numbers is, by the time you are ready for retirement let's say they wanted to retire early 50s, mid 50s and not do the traditional 60 plus retirement that $2 million plus is going to grow exponentially, so they should have a really nice retirement plan.
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Yeah, but most people focus on the now, not the later.
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So, like by trying to reassure them that you know, oh yeah, you have all this money for later on in life does not help how they feel today.
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Yeah, it's a Ramit Sethi who often says the amount of money you have in your bank account is largely uncorrelated to how you feel about money.
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Yeah, cause just because you have more money also doesn't equate to like less stress.
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No, that's true.
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I would honestly say, often more money, sometimes more stress comes for a lot of people.
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Now, if you do it correctly, I think it can definitely decrease your stress, but I think a lot of people don't do it.
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Quote unquote the correct way.
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I mean, wasn't there a song about that?
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no money, no problem.
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I don't even know if we can sing that anymore, since you know you know who was canceled.
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So okay, yeah, that's true you need the ai, his like verse out and have somebody else do it I know it's such a good song, oh somebody's gonna ruin everything okay.
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What else babe?
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um, budgeting is important.
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Okay, what else, babe?
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Budgeting is important in all levels and I think we have kind of like a misconception that budgeting is more important the less money you have, and I would honestly make maybe an argument that's even more important the more money you have.
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Because what ends up happening is is that as you start to increase your income, if you're not properly budgeting for that new income, it gets lost in the wash.
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So you have individuals that you know are increasing their income year over year, but they don't feel like they're increasing their income because they're not properly budgeting and they're not, you know, actually taking that additional income and applying it in places where it's needed.
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It's probably just being spent on frivolous stuff, possibly, or it might be.
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Honestly, sometimes people put too much in certain savings areas as compared to maybe what they need as a monthly cash flow.
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So there's a lot of reasons behind it.
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But budgeting is important regardless of how much money you have and, like I said, the more money you have, normally the little bit more you know attention you got to pay to it.
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That's true, would you say, based on your clients and how you've worked with people, you know, for the last decade plus, that the people who have the smaller incomes are actually better at budgeting 100%, yeah.
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Because obviously you know there is an aspect to the less money that you have.
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You do have to make sure that you know each dollar is being stretched as far as possible, because you have to do this in order just to have make ends meet.
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Right.
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And so sometimes people think that you know, oh, I make a certain amount of money Like I shouldn't have to pay that close attention to it because I should have more than enough.
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And no, it should get you doesn't get you anywhere.
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You know, you actually have to put in that work and make sure that you are allocating each dollar that you have coming in to a purpose that works for you, so that you don't have that money that gets lost in the wash as you make more money.
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Right, and I think, too, there's something to be said.
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You know, figuring out how you want to budget something to be said.
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You know, figuring out how you want to budget.
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Is it going to be on paper?
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Is it going to be on an app?
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I mean, you know, back in the day, we all had the paper ledger with our debit cards.
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You know, and we were keeping track of you weren't doing that, no, so how did you know how much money you had?
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I looked online.
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Back in the day we didn't have like the apps and stuff like that.
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So I think the difference between you and I is that I'm thinking of like college.
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No, I'm thinking like high school, See in high school, I didn't work like you.
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I was playing sports.
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Yeah, and I've worked my whole life, so there's that.
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In college.
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You could hop online and look at it.
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Okay, Well, in high school, when I was working at the Publix and the Old Navy, I had my little ledger and I like wrote down.
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You know, hey, I went to Subway and bought a sub and that was $4.35 or whatever, and I subtracted it.
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Yeah, I didn't do that, okay.
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Well, yeah, I was a hardcore soccer player, believe it or not, and so I was playing soccer and not working.
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He was living the lavish life.
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Look where that got me Nowhere, not working.
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He was living the lavish life.
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Look where that got me Nowhere.
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Well, what I was going to say is I think we've gotten away from because everything is swipe, swipe, swipe we've gotten away from actually looking at where our money is going.
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And if you're not intentional about really figuring out, well, where is my money going, right?
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Oh, I'm popping into this store, I'm popping over here, oh, it's only $5.
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It's only this, it's only that, and you do that.
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You know, five, six, seven, eight times a week.
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The only $5, right, it adds up really, really quickly.
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And so seeing the numbers in black and white and really understanding where is my money going every month is really important, especially because you know, I know this is for us too.
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You feel like you're doing good, you feel like your money's right, and then, boom, you get some four month old medical bill from when your son decided to run into a metal pole at brunch and you spend six hours in the emergency room and walk out with six stitches later, and then you get a bill from seven months oh, was it seven?
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From months later, and you're like I thought we were done with this.
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Where is this random bill coming from, you know?
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And so things like that happen all the time and it messes up your money.
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Side note there has to be a simpler process for medical billing.
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There's no reason that I go to a hospital for something and then I get eight separate bills from eight separate people from all the different providers and also with like various time frames, like you get one right away, one four months later, one a year later, like I know you guys.
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I know, there's a simpler way to do this, like we put people on the moon, like, come on, I know that's a good.
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This is what this Like we put people on the moon like come on.
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I know that's a good sidebar.
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This is what doge doge.
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This is what you need to work on.
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One system for all.
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Simplify this, please.
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Elon Medical practices.
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Ugh, don't mention his name in our episodes.
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Okay, um.
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So, cashflow really understanding where your money goes, managing it, you know, planning for those expenses, planning for the summer camps, the track out camps, the birthday parties.
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You know, I said this in January.
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January is the best time to start saving for Christmas.
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Why?
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Because you can look back at what you spent and it was probably more than you anticipated.
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Because I know, even though we only did quote, unquote, stocking stuffers, we spent more than anticipated.
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And so you take those numbers and then you divide it by 12.
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And then that's your monthly budget for how you can, you know, save throughout the year for Christmas, versus looking up after Thanksgiving and saying, oh shoot, I don't have any savings and now I'm going to start putting everything on a credit card.
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So you know, again, it has to do with really understanding where's your money going, what's coming in, what's going out and what do you want to plan for.
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And also, I think one of the biggest things that happens to you know the 250k, you know area income households, is that you have one, the lifestyle creep, but then you also have like what's called the invisible inflation, and these are the things that you don't necessarily realize are, you know, causing more money to come out of your pocket.
00:16:30.201 --> 00:16:38.404
But, for example, your circle that you are um, your circle that you're in, you might start to do things.
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Yes, your social circle, there you go.
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Words elude me sometimes, but your social circle circle also sometimes dictates what you spend your money on.
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So you know, for example, I, the one that I can often think of, is like we at one point in time had our daughter in a private school and you hang out in that private school circle and you're, you start to, you start to do things that other private school parents, kids do, and stuff like that.
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All the different activities that you may be putting your kids in at one time are not cheap.
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They don't need to be in six activities.
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So you start to spend more and more money.
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I mean, we have friends of ours who their kids are in dance and competitive dancing and they've told us they're spending, like you know, 30 000 plus a year on dancing.
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And, as you know, I, my brother and I grew up playing soccer and, for those that don't know, soccer is not an inexpensive sport to play.
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So I remember like how much it would cost at that time for each of us to play soccer.
00:17:35.763 --> 00:17:41.023
We had our club teams that we were playing on and then during the summers we travel overseas to play in tournaments in europe.
00:17:41.064 --> 00:17:51.625
So like a lot of money in where europe oh, okay, there's a few words that brandon says that I always make fun of.
00:17:51.886 --> 00:17:55.335
Europe is one of them just a quick way to say europe.
00:17:55.335 --> 00:18:03.307
Anyways, all those things can start to really add up.
00:18:03.307 --> 00:18:14.441
So you really need to be intentional about like hey, am I doing these things just to show off for my peers or am I doing them because I generally believe that we enjoy them as a family?
00:18:14.441 --> 00:18:25.414
My child enjoys them because often I see sometimes like kids are in like five or six activities and like does the kid actually and the kid's like seven, does the kid actually want to do that activity or does the parent want to do that activity?
00:18:25.414 --> 00:18:39.229
Because I know that I've had to check myself from like I had large visions and dreams of my daughter and my son being soccer players that ended up playing for the U S national team.
00:18:39.229 --> 00:18:45.335
I had the whole Nike ad like already in my head as far as like both of them first brother, sister duo, playing on the national team.
00:18:45.394 --> 00:18:46.961
This is a real story, you guys.
00:18:46.961 --> 00:18:48.045
I just want to be very clear.
00:18:48.105 --> 00:18:49.935
I even, like you know, the last world cup.
00:18:49.935 --> 00:18:57.926
When asking was little, I put one of my usa jerseys on her and took a picture and I was like this is going to be the nike ad in the future this is going to be on the Nike.
00:18:58.067 --> 00:18:59.332
Yes, it was a whole thing.
00:18:59.332 --> 00:19:01.138
We've literally talked about this multiple times.
00:19:01.179 --> 00:19:04.115
I love my daughter to death, but I don't think sports are in her future.
00:19:04.194 --> 00:19:04.737
It's not happening.
00:19:04.797 --> 00:19:12.457
And she doesn't have an interest in it, which is perfectly fine, but I also had to check myself and not trying to force her to do things that she's not necessarily interested in doing.
00:19:12.636 --> 00:19:15.181
Hey, Misty Copeland didn't start dancing until 13.
00:19:15.181 --> 00:19:21.009
So we have time, she could literally like wake up one day and become the superstar you've always dreamed of.
00:19:21.596 --> 00:19:25.066
I mean, I'm going to support her whenever she wants to do, whatever her talents are at.
00:19:25.286 --> 00:19:25.446
Yes.
00:19:25.595 --> 00:19:32.941
But all this to say is that I had to check myself in regards to putting her in soccer, because we tried.
00:19:32.941 --> 00:19:42.528
It Didn't go well, didn't really go well, and I had to check myself in regards to maybe I just shouldn't push her to do it again, because that would have been money that we spent that went nowhere.
00:19:42.587 --> 00:19:48.112
And miserable Saturday mornings on the sidelines of the soccer field.
00:19:48.112 --> 00:19:48.873
No thanks.
00:19:51.575 --> 00:19:55.886
Another one is some of these birthday parties that we go to for kids, Like is the birthday party for your 4-year-old or is it for you, the 40-year-old?
00:19:55.886 --> 00:19:59.080
Because this is a lot that's going on here.
00:20:01.325 --> 00:20:02.768
But we appreciate the goodie bags.
00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:08.023
I appreciate the extra beverages.
00:20:14.335 --> 00:20:19.385
Well, I think what Brandon's trying to say is to make sure that your spending is actually aligned with your values and that you've really thought about what is the vision for your life.
00:20:19.385 --> 00:20:28.998
How do you want to, you know, spend your time, use money as a tool, raise your family, you know, raise your kids, if you have children.
00:20:28.998 --> 00:20:42.057
And so, instead of spending to keep up with the Joneses or to keep up with the you know quote unquote fancy private school parents which, let's be honest, we don't know what's going on in those people's bank accounts.
00:20:42.057 --> 00:21:01.744
You know, yes, the exterior looks nice and you're, you know, showing up in your wagoneer, and you know all the things or the quintessential white woman, private school shoe the golden goose oh, the dirty golden gooses, do not get brandon on buying $600 pre-dirty shoes.
00:21:05.489 --> 00:21:07.576
Well, we've laughed a lot in this episode.
00:21:07.576 --> 00:21:23.721
You know, align your spending with your values and not with somebody else's, because I can tell you that it's not going to go well if you're trying to spend the way somebody else spends and those things are not actually of value to you.
00:21:24.303 --> 00:21:39.883
There's a very well-known financial planner by the name of George Kinder and he is kind of like the grandfather of behavioral finance, where we're not just focusing on the numbers, we really are focusing on the feelings, emotions and everything else that really dictates the decisions that people make with their finances.
00:21:39.883 --> 00:21:50.209
He has like a question that he often asks, and it's if you had all the money you needed, how would your life change If everything you all the money you ever needed?
00:21:50.209 --> 00:21:51.214
How would your life change?
00:21:51.214 --> 00:21:52.076
You had it?
00:21:52.076 --> 00:21:53.862
How would you live your life?
00:21:53.862 --> 00:21:55.085
What would you do?
00:21:55.085 --> 00:21:56.556
What would you actually spend your money on?
00:21:56.556 --> 00:21:58.624
What would you spend your time doing?
00:21:58.624 --> 00:22:09.736
And even though you may not have, obviously, all the money that you need, it doesn't mean you can't start doing the second part as far as spending the money on things that you want to do, spending your time the way that you would like to spend it.
00:22:09.756 --> 00:22:10.997
Yes, Well, time is so fleeting right.
00:22:10.997 --> 00:22:13.419
The older we get, the more we realize Time is so fleeting right.
00:22:13.419 --> 00:22:17.523
The older we get, the more we realize, wow, like tomorrow is not guaranteed.
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